


Fool If You Think It's Over

by LittleSpoonStyles94



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Family, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Missed Chance, No Smut, Pining, Popular Harry Styles, Popular Louis Tomlinson, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, want you back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 39,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpoonStyles94/pseuds/LittleSpoonStyles94
Summary: Louis and Harry are best of friends with a past full of history between them. Since the start of their hiatus they tried their best to stay in touch but life got in the way. Now after a silence of over a year, Harry reaches out and calls Louis inviting him to L.A to deliver some news.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Fool If You Think It's Over

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys and welcome to my new fic. It's been a long time coming but finally it is here. Aa big thank you goes out to Sarah @wreck_me_daddy for reading for me and helping me correct and add stuff to this fic. I do hope you guys enjoy it. This fic was inspired by the rom-com My Best Friend's Wedding. It came to me while I was watching the movie! If you want to reach me, you can find me on Twitter @50ShadesofMags

Fool If You Think It’s Over.

And I don't mean to be selfish  
But my heart breaks every time  
That I see you smile  
'Cause I know that it's not me  
Who brings it out of you anymore  
You found somebody new  
You put me in the past  
I don't even know if our memories will last  
But If By Chance it doesn't work out with him  
You'll always have a chance with me in my world

It was a little after four in the afternoon on a very rainy Friday morning when Louis got the call that changed his life forever. Or at least it changed life as he knew it so far.

He had just come in through his back door after having done some food shopping down at Waitrose, sodden wet from the rain and cursing the miserable London weather, struggling with the bags as he tried to push Clifford away from welcoming him back by jumping on him and covering his face with licks when his mobile started ringing and vibrating in the pocket of his sweats. 

‘Down Cliff come on lad gimmie a moment,’ he told the over excited dog as he tried to move Cliff off him. He managed to close the door with his foot, dump the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and fish out his phone. As he went to swipe the phone to answer the call, he was greatly surprised to see that it was Harry calling him. Harry? He swiped his phone.

'Harry,' Louis said into the phone not bothering to hide the smile in his tone or the surprise.

'Louis hi,' Harry said cheerfully and Louis smiled wider. Harry was his best of the past ten years. They had met during their audition for the X Factor and they had hit it off immediately. When Simon Cowell had put them together in a boy band, their friendship blossomed and grew and they had been tight ever since. For the first few years, they had been in a secret relationship but stressful circumstances had pulled them apart. Still, they had by some miracle managed to remain friends.

'Haz how are you?' Louis asked as he pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table. Since they had decided on taking a hiatus from the band five years ago, all five of them had drifted apart more than career wise. At first, they all had tried to keep in touch with each other as much as possible except Zayn of course but they had all made career moves taking on their solo careers and in between recording and releasing new albums, promos and touring, there wasn't much time left for them to meet up as much as they wanted to. Not to mention having kids took up the rest of any free time that was left. Now sitting in his kitchen on this rainy morning, Louis realized that he had missed Harry a lot.

'I'm good Lou,' Harry said. 'How are you? It's been a while since we last spoke.' Louis grinned.

'Yeah I'm sorry about that. Things just keep popping up you know how it is and I've been working on my album,' he said softly.

'Yeah?' Harry asked and Louis could detect the excitement in his voice. Harry had always been incredibly supportive of him and his music and after the hiatus started, Harry had encouraged him to release solo material. 'I'm so happy to hear that Lou. How's it coming along?' Louis smiled to himself when he heard Harry call him Lou.

'Eh still in the early stages you know, early as in the writing process and putting down melodies. You know how it is. The whole process takes time. Not sure where I'm going with it yet but I found a good team of people to work with even though other stuff keeps getting in the way like legal shit that seems to keep putting me off from releasing it.' Harry caught a hint of frustration in Louis' voice. He knew well enough about his legal battles.

'Never give up Lou. The trouble will pass and you'll be free soon. Keep writing. You're very good at it. You wrote some of our greatest ones back when we were formerly known as One Direction.' Louis chuckled.

'I guess. You know me, a fighter till the end. So, Harold what's up? Are you back in London or?'

'No,' Harry said. 'I'm in L.A. I sort of live here now. L.A adopted me as one of its own.' Yeah and Louis knew how much Harry loved L.A. All his friends lived there. Still, it came as a bit of a shock that Harry had actually put down roots there.

'Really?' Louis asked because he had to.

'Yes,' Harry said laughing a little. 'I haven't been in London for over a year now.'

'Shit! More than a year? You're not getting an American accent are you?'

'I'm not you wanker,' Harry laughed. 'Still hundred percent British.'

'So you settled there huh? Has it really been more than a year since we've last spoken?' Again Harry detected disappointment in Louis' tone. He was still very good at reading Louis.

'I'm sorry I slacked,' Harry said. 'My life has taken on a huge turn and I kinda lost myself. Never expected to have this level of success as a solo artist to be honest.'

'H don't sell yourself short. You're good at what you do. Your album is amazing. Worthy of a Grammy even though those assholes don't see it.'

'Maybe I'm not Grammy material,' Harry said.

'Hey don't do that. You always do that, doubt yourself. You're good. They're just dicks. You don’t need them or any other award to validate how good you are at what you do.'

'I know I know. I guess I'm still the same old me,' Harry said.

'No matter how old you get or how big you become career wise, your character is still the same H. That's why people love you. You don't take anything for granted and you remain down to earth. You bleed humility.' Louis paused, took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He could hear Harry fiddling with something on the other side. 'H, are you alright? Is something wrong?'

'Yeah Lou no, I'm good...I-I'm alright...I just um....'

'Harry, deep breath. Calm down.' Even though they were apart, Louis still knew Harry inside out. He had had a lot of time back in the day to learn Harry inside and out. He knew that when he was nervous or excited he stammered and fidgeted. 'Tell me what it is.' He heard Harry inhale and huff out a breath slowly and Louis smiled because Harry still listened to him and allowed Louis to guide him.

'Lou, I need to talk to you. Um we...we need to talk. Can you come to L.A?' Louis' blood went cold.

'What? You want me to come to L.A? Why Harry, what's wrong?' Louis felt himself begin to panic. Harry cleared his throat.

'Please don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. What I want to tell you, I just can't do it over the phone. I..I need to see you. Can you come? Please?' And Louis knew he couldn’t say no to Harry.

'Um yeah sure H. How soon do you want me there?' Louis asked him.

'How soon can you get here?' Harry asked back.

'Ugh how about like three days? I have some stuff to take care of but I can book a flight Monday night. Is that good?'

'Yeah Lou that's lovely. Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you. We have so much catching up to do. Send me your flight details so I'll pick you up.' Louis chuckled. Harry was like a child when he got excited.

'Sure H. I could do with a break myself and I’m past due to visit Freddie. I can't wait to see you too. I'll text you the details as soon as I have them yeah.' Harry cleared his throat.

'Okay yeah. See you Monday then,' Harry said happily and Louis did not fail to notice that Harry did not ask after Freddie. Freddie was a sore subject that they always avoided.

'See you Monday H. Bye.' The call ended and Louis sat at the kitchen table staring at the wall. It was only eight in the morning in L.A. What was so important that had Harry awake so early, calling him after more than a year of silence asking him to go to L.A because Harry had to talk to him about something that he could not discuss over the phone? Excitement and anxiety pooled in Louis' stomach. He needed to talk to someone about this. Niall and Liam were not in London so they were out of the question. Lottie was in Australia promoting her Tanlogistan products. That left Eleanor. She was his friend and she walked his dog and looked after his house when he was out of town, which he reminded himself, he had to tell her to watch Cliff and the house while he was away in L.A. He dialed her number and she picked up after the third ring.

'Lou,' she said into the phone sounding bored.

'Hey El, are you busy?'

'Not particularly,' she replied. 'What's up?'

'Good. Wanna pop round for a cuppa? There's something I need to talk to you about.'

'Sure. I'll be there in a bit. Was feeling kind down actually with this bloody sodden rain.'

'Yeah I know the feeling. See you in a bit then,' Louis said and ended the call. Louis busied himself putting away the groceries just to keep himself occupied and not let his brain conjure up anymore Harry related scenarios filling him up with anxiety.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Eleanor sat opposite Louis at the kitchen table with Bruce and Cliff pawing at her and vying for her attention. Louis pushed a mug of hot tea towards her.

'Bitch weather we're having,' Eleanor complained as she wrapped her hands round her mug for warmth and looked out of Louis’ glass double back doors that led to his massive garden to the heavily pouring rain outside.

'Don't we always,' Louis replied as he lit up a cigarette and inhaled on it deeply, letting out a plume of white smoke. Eleanor eyed him. By now she knew him well enough to know that something was bothering him.

'I thought you quit,' Eleanor pointed out.

'So did I!' Louis retorted. 'Besides, I only thought about quitting so that doesn't count but trust me El, I definitely need a smoke right now,' he said as he took another deep drag from his cigarette.

'Okay care to tell me what's up that got your knickers in such a tight bunch?' El asked him, giving him a smile.

'Harry called,' Louis said. Eleanor raised her eyebrow at him in amusement.

'Ah hence the need for a nicotine fix,' she commented. Of course only Harry could drag him back to smoking when Louis had thought about quitting them. She knew their history well enough to know that it was something urgent since Louis looked like he was about to jump out of his skin at any given moment. 'What did he want?' Louis' leg bounced up and down.

'I don't know. He didn't say. He just asked me to go to L.A. To talk.'

'Mysterious as always isn’t he? Must be serious if he wants you to fly all the way out there just for a chat but that’s Harry for you innit? You have any inkling of what he might want?' Eleanor asked him. Louis shrugged.

'Who knows with Haz.' Eleanor took a sip of her tea.

'You don't think maybe he wants to talk about the reunion do you?’ Louis looked at her with a cynical look.

'One D?' Eleanor rolled her eyes.

'No Lou My Chemical Romance? Who the fuck else if not One D? Stop being daft!' Louis took a sip of tea.

'Nah if that were the case he would've told me over the phone no?'

'True,' Eleanor agreed. 'How long has it been since you two last talked?' Louis took another drag off his smoke.

'I think it was sometime after he finished his first tour. He called me to tell me how it all went and he talked briefly about taking a break before he started working on his second album.'

'That's well over a year ago Lou and now he just calls out of the blue and asks you to go to L.A?' Louis shrugged not really wanting to make a big deal out of it because they were like that, not talk for a while then pick up again right where they had left off as if no time has passed so why did this time feel so different? Why did Harry sound different? He looked down at the table. The truth of it was that they hadn't gone by without talking for this length of time. If they didn’t speak on the phone for a couple of weeks, Harry always sent the odd text every now and then inquiring how he was doing and if everything was alright on his end. But this time had been different. There had been no texts from Harry and he himself had attributed to the silence too because he hadn’t called him or text him either. It had been a span of silence on both ends that stretched for months and it was worrying Louis now that Harry had breached the silence with this strange request.

'Lou I know you're thinking something's up. Spill,' Eleanor told him. Louis stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and took a sip of tea.

'I know this sounds crazy and fuck, my mind must be bringing up all kinds of shit but remember in the early days when you were brought in?' he asked her.

'Yeah I remember. How can I ever forget? Harry hated me on sight,' she said. Louis licked his lips.

'He didn’t hate you El,’ Louis said jumping to Harry’s defense. Eleanor smiled because it was sweet how Louis still would not let anyone talk shit about Harry.

‘Sure he didn’t,’ she said sarcastically, ‘but please carry on.’ Louis cleared his throat.

‘You know Harry and I had that thing,' he said quietly. Eleanor smiled fondly at him.

'Larry Stylinson,' she said, teasing him and Louis couldn't help the fond smile that came to his lips. He remembered those days. He remembered them perfectly well.

'Yeah,' he said. 'Harry and I were always close from day one so it was really inevitable that we ended up closer, too close. We were too young and we thought it would last. We got caught up in it all. Things became complicated and when they brought you in, it became worse. Well you know how it became. You were there. It became difficult especially for Harry and we were not allowed to make any decisions and we were really scared of management especially Simon. It was too much pressure and shit so we decided to just be friends. Well, I decided that we should be friends. I didn’t want us to cause trouble or ruin what we had as a band. Harry didn’t take it so well. I knew that he was too attached to me. I knew that and when they brought you in, he became jealous and sometimes a little hysteric. I had to shut it down. The rumors kept growing. Larry was everywhere. It was causing a lot of problems and I really had no choice. However, Harry and I, we never fully stopped. He sometimes was a mess, crying and begging me to take him back and I just gave in to him at times and I knew it wasn’t right but he was hurting and I couldn’t let him hurt. He failed to see that I was hurting too especially when he’d accuse me that I never felt anything for him, that I didn’t fight for him. It was all a big mess El. Each time I’d let him sleep in my bed because he was too upset, I’d tell him that it was the last time but he was so hard to resist. I tried but it was so hard to say no to him and if I’m being honest, I needed him too. I was hurting too and he was a comfort to me. One night, we were in bed together and we were both silent, well Harry was just crying softly. I was holding him, soothing him and he made me promise him that if neither one of us was married by our mid-twenties, we'd marry each other. I know we were just kids and it's stupid thinking about this now and maybe I said yes to him to calm him down. I mean, my feelings for him, they never went away but at the time, he was just 20 and I was 22. This whole painful ordeal had been going on for like four years. I loved him but I never let him see that. I never let him see that I was hurting too. I had to be strong so that we could avoid a lot of trouble but that didn’t mean I loved him any less. But now we're both grown men......'

'Yeah he's 26 and you're 28.....mid to late twenties? Do you reckon.....? Oh my God Lou do you think....?' She let it hang in the air between them. Louis puffed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair and looked at her hopefully.

'Do you really think?' he asked her, his voice no more than a whisper. Eleanor reached over across the table and took his hand in hers.

'It makes sense Louis. Maybe it's the time. Maybe it's both your time. Maybe the stars are aligning for you both. Maybe the Universe is working in your favor. Maybe he’s going to talk to you about it. Maybe now is the right time for you guys.' Louis gave Eleanor a small sad smile.

'That’s a lot of maybes in there but God I'm not ready for that El!' Eleanor squeezed his hand.

‘You still have feelings for him Lou. You have kept them in check for a long time. Don’t you think it’s time to let those feeling run free and be happy?’ Louis looked down at the table.

‘I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I always refuse to think about it,’ he admitted.

'Louis! It's your Harry! You have loved him since you were 18! He was your first love. I know it because I was there and saw it with my own eyes even though you tried to be all macho about it and hide it which by the way you sucked at. I really don’t know how Harry bought your whole act. Now is not the time to be weak! You do still have feelings for him don’t you?' Louis looked at her, his blue eyes sad.

'I never stopped having them,' he admitted in a quiet voice.

'Then you're ready. This is it Lou. He wouldn't call you after an absence of over a year and ask you to fly out to L.A if he wasn't going to talk to you about this. After all, you can’t just blurt out your feelings to someone over the phone now can you? Maybe he’s preparing something romantic. You know how Harry is. He is probably all nervous about how he’s going to remind you of that promise you made to him while sharing a single bed beneath the covers,' she told him giving him a wink. Louis' heart was beating fast in his chest. He didn’t want to think about it because Eleanor was missing a huge piece in this mixed up puzzle. Louis looked at her.

‘He’s never quite forgiven me about Freddie,’ he said softly. ‘That had been the last straw El. He still won’t talk to me about it. We never talked about it. After I told him, he just shut me out. We remained friends sure but there was a wedge between us that neither of us wanted to address.’ Eleanor sighed.

‘Lou, maybe he’s come to terms with it. He knows well enough you never set out to get that gold digger pregnant. He knew it back then too but yeah I can imagine how hard it was for him learning you were going to have a kid. I mean fuck it was the ultimate betrayal.’ Louis looked down and chewed on his bottom lip nervously. Eleanor moved closer to him. ‘Louis, you’ve both done a lot of growing up and maybe he’s okay with Freddie now. Maybe he’s put it all behind him and wants to try again.’ 

'Do you think so El? You think he still has feelings for me?' Eleanor smiled at him and squeezed his hand one more time.

'Despite everything that’s happened between the two of you, I can tell you with certainty that he never stopped having them love.'

x

Louis was a bundle of nerves, muscles taught with tension, heart hammering uncomfortably fast in his chest as he made his way off the plane to baggage claim. For the past few days he had been trying to mentally and emotionally prepare himself for the whatever Harry had to talk to him but now that he was here in L.A and minutes away from seeing Harry, he realized that he wasn't prepared and was trying to keep himself from running back to the plane and beg the pilot to take him back home. He tried to think of other things that Harry could want to talk to him about but his mind was stuck on the only one thing that made any sense to Louis as to why Harry wanted to see him and talk to him face to face. 

Obviously he didn't want to hope too much for what he and Eleanor thought Harry might say but the sad truth was that he was hoping for it! He told himself a million times over the course of the past few days that back then they had been kids, that what they had was that they had been caught up in the whole stardom thing, in the glittering lights of fame and the novelty of being the world's most loved boy band and got carried away. They had fallen for each other in the midst of it all and they hadn't known what they had been doing and they never thought that the fans would catch up on it and so much trouble would start! They were too young to fall in love. It was just a teenage phase wasn’t it? That promise that they had made, it was silly and stupid and Louis felt foolish for thinking that Harry would remember something like that years later and he was even more foolish to think that had had forgiven him for having Freddie.

But Louis always wondered if it had been just a teenage phase. Deep down he knew it hadn’t been and management knew it too because if it wasn’t real, why had they put their foot down and told them that it had to end and brought in Eleanor to be his girlfriend? They must have seen it too and felt that the band would be threatened if two of it’s members were to come out as gay. There had been so many rules put down to them and Louis had begun to realize that it couldn’t go on even though Harry had been too far gone for him and Louis knew that and it had killed him that he had to be the adult and had to take a stand for the sake of everyone involved. Louis remembered when he had told Harry that they should stop what they had and be friends. It was then that things had taken a bad turn for Harry. Harry, the ever romantic, tried to persuade him that they could make it work, that they could hide it better but when Louis had said no, Harry had thrown tantrums accusing Louis of wanting Eleanor not him. But late at night, whether on a tour bus or hotel, Harry always made his way into Louis’ bed pleading and still trying to persuade him to give it another go and during those late nights cuddled together in a single bed, Louis hated himself for having had to say no to Harry and breaking his heart and his own every single time. 

Then as if things hadn’t been bad enough, management had turned Harry into a womanizer and stuck him with model after model some much older than him and Louis didn’t like it one bit. Harry had hated it too and too often he had been upset over it when he had seen what the media was saying about him. The fighting and the arguments between them became worse. The jealousy intensified on both sides. The stress and pressure amounted along the years. Then Louis had started drinking and going out partying to just forget for a while. Then Freddie had happened and when he had told Harry, they had had the biggest fight ever. After that, they had come to a point where they had become almost strangers until one day Harry told had him that he couldn’t do it anymore, the arguments, the tears, the fighting. All of it. Harry had told him that he was giving up on them even though Louis had wanted to cry and scream in his face that no, he didn't want him to give up on them because he was in love with him and that just because he was going to have a baby didn’t mean anything. He had wanted to beg Harry to forgive him for what he had done, that it had been a mistake but he had quietly agreed because there had been no point. Harry had hugged him tightly and had promised him that no matter what, they would always be friends. And Louis had hugged him tighter and figured that having Harry as a friend was better than having him as nothing at all. Gradually they had settled into a comfortable friendship but that flickering flame inside Louis that he had for Harry never died. Harry had even been supportive when his son had been born (Harry had never asked questions about it or showed any jealousy. He had just seemed numb about the whole thing and they had eventually stopped talking about the child altogether as if he didn’t exist) Shortly after the birth, Harry had requested a hiatus and since the hiatus started five years ago, they had seen less and less of each other and their closeness had dwindled.

Now as he waited for his bag at the luggage carousel, he felt so confused because he was hoping for something that his mind was telling him not to hope for! His rational self was telling him that too much had happened between them that broke them too badly to ever be fixed but his irrational part was telling him that maybe Harry was going to try again, that maybe Harry hadn’t forgotten what they had had and despite what he had told Louis about giving up, he hadn’t and still remembered that promise that they had made and if that were the case, Louis would not say no this time. His duffle bag arrived and he hauled it on to his shoulder trying to push his thoughts and emotions to the back of his mind as he made his way towards the exit. He hoped that no fans would spot the reunion or else they would end up on Twitter with some hashtag reviving Larry Stylinson. Solo Harry had a lot of fans and they seemed to find him everywhere he went but Louis remembered that Harry could be a private sneaky bastard when he wanted to. He was sure that it had crossed Harry's mind that this reunion couldn't be given any attention from fans or media.

His mind was swirling with thoughts and something akin to fear and nerves were attacking his stomach in a brutal way. It didn't help that he kept repeating in his head that it's just Harry because it's just Harry wasn't cutting it. Before he walked through the exit into the arrivals terminal where Harry by now was surely waiting for him, Louis made a detour to the men's bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty. He tried to compose himself and relax his fast beating heart.

'Come on you daft sod,' he told his reflection, 'it's only Harry. Your best friend of ten years. Stop being dramatic!' Easier said than done when his brain was telling him that Harry was also the one he had let get away because he refused to listen to his heart telling him that Harry was also the boy he had fallen in love with and never gotten over. He growled when his heart reminded him that he had always loved Harry and still did. He was scared shitless of what Harry wanted to talk to him about face to face. Scared and excited in a good way. Was he even ready?

'Fuck I am,' he told his reflection as he fixed his fringe, took in a few deep breaths and smoothed down his tee shirt. 'This time I’m ready. I won’t let him get away again. Let's do this Tommo!' With one final look in the mirror just for reassurance that he looked alright, he strode out of the bathroom full of intent and purpose and straight through the swishing doors that led him out into the arrivals lounge and to Harry.

And there he was! Tight white t-shirt, defining his muscles beneath the thin material, biceps bulging against the cotton sleeves, faded daddy jeans, a pair of Vans, yellow sunglasses on his head holding back a mop of curls, wide smile, dimples on full display and arms waving him over as he strode towards Louis on long legs. And Louis knew that he was fucked! Big time!

'Lou finally!' Harry greeted him as he stopped right in front of him. 'You're here!' And he engulfed Louis in one of his bear hugs that Louis knew so well and had missed terribly. Louis let himself be hugged, crushed to Harry's muscular chest. Louis closed his eyes and relaxed into Harry, those familiar arms making him feel as if he had just come home. He inhaled deeply and Harry smelled wonderful, a musky, vanilla smell with a hint of tobacco flower. Louis realized then that he had missed Harry more than he thought he had. And when had he become so buff? He was like huge! Louis felt kinda small in his arms and he like it!

'Hey Haz,' Louis mumbled against his shoulder, tightening his arms around Harry's broad back, feeling the muscles ripple underneath the light material of his tee shirt. Harry kept holding him tightly, his face squished into Louis' neck.

'I missed you Lou,' Harry whispered, squeezing him tighter. Louis tapped him on the back.

'Har-ry....can't...breathe,' he said. Harry let him go and stepped back, giving Louis a grin.

'Opps,' he said. Louis grinned back.

'Hi,' he replied and they both burst out laughing.

'Are we ever going to stop with the opps and the hi?' Harry asked him. Louis scrunched up his nose fondly.

'I don't think so. It's an us thing innit which is why we have them tattooed!' Harry barked out a laugh then quickly covered his mouth! Louis realized that some things never changed no matter how much time passed.

'I guess it is,' Harry agreed. He reached out to take Louis' duffle bag and Louis let him take it. With arms the size of his, Louis was sure he could carry his bag! 'How was your flight?' Harry asked him as they made their way out of the airport to the carpark. Louis looked around expecting fans or paps to pop out but thankfully there were none in sight. Harry stopped in front of a white convertible Mercedes. Louis whistled softly. Harry wasn’t exactly going incognito! Didn’t he worry that someone might see them together and the rumors might start up again? Louis looked at him but Harry looked relaxed and unbothered.

'Wow Haz. Lovely car.' Harry smiled as he threw Louis' bag in the back seat and got in. He leaned over to open Louis' door.

'You like it?' he asked. Louis got into the passenger seat.

'I fucking love it!' he said. Harry chuckled, put on his yellow sunglasses, started the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. He looked every inch the L.A resident that he was becoming. Louis relaxed in his seat enjoying the warm sun and Harry beside him. His mind was whirring with possibilities as to what Harry needed to talk to him about but they all centred around one hope and now that he had seen Harry again, he was certain he was ready for it. He created endless scenarios in his mind as to how Harry was going to put it to him, how he was going to say what he needed to say and how it would play out between them to finally admit their feelings to each other and reconnect after such a long time. Louis could imagine Harry stammering and fidgeting and playing with his rings while blushing furiously. Louis was already endeared by the mere thought of it.

'Lou?' he heard Harry say. Louis turned to look at Harry who was looking back at him while stopped at a red light, his long ringed fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. He looked so confident, relaxed and fucking hot!

'Sorry what?' Louis asked feeling a little dumb that he had zoned out on Harry to entertain his daydreams. Harry gave him a small smile blaming Louis' distraction on his long, tiring flight.

'I asked if you booked into a hotel because if you have, you have to cancel. You are staying at mine. We have so much catching up to do and I want to spend as much time with you as I can.' Louis gulped. He wanted to scream “fuck yes!” and pump his fists in the air but instead concentrated on swallowing down the butterflies in his stomach that were threatening to erupt through his mouth. Harry wanted him to stay at his house, a house he had never been to and he wanted to spend as much time with him as he could! He could do that! Yep he definitely could do that!

'Ugh, yeah no I didn't book a hotel. It didn't cross my mind honestly. I figured I'd be staying with you.' Harry gave him that smirk that always set Louis' pulse racing.

'Good. Glad we still understand each other without spoken words.' Louis gulped again because fuck! He was so nervous that when the light turned green and Harry put the car in gear speeding down the road, his stomach lurched up into his throat and for a moment he thought he was going to puke all over Harry’s immaculate and expensive upholstery. He relaxed back into the plush leather seat watching the buildings and palm trees whizz by as the car sped on knowing he was safe in Harry's very capable hands. He sighed happily albeit nervously but he felt very excited for what was to come.

Harry stopped the car in front of a pair of high iron gates, the engine of the Mercedes purring softly as he took out a small remote hanging off a set of keys and pushed a button, the gates swinging open silently revealing a long driveway bordered on both sides with trees that arched overhead creating a green tunnel. The driveway inclined slightly upwards and then they were out of the trees and in front of a beautiful house. Harry killed the engine.

'Home sweet home,' he told Louis with a dimpled smile as he undid his seat belt and got out, stretching his long lithe body. Louis couldn't help but look and admire the muscles bulging against Harry’s thin tee shirt or the laurels that made an appearance after so long. He got out of the car and looked at the house.

'Nice house,' he told Harry who was bent over the back seat getting Louis' bag from the back and giving Louis an eye full of his backside which to Louis’ amazement had filled out rather nicely. It looked perky and firm. Thank you squat god! Louis huffed out a breath calming himself down. 'Very lovely indeed,' he muttered.

'What?' Harry asked straightening up as he hauled Louis' bag over his shoulder.

'I said very superstarish.' Harry smiled softly but blushed.

‘Same old me though Lou,' he commented while walking towards the house Louis following suit. Harry took out his set of keys and opened the door. He walked in and stopped in a small hallway and took off his shoes, slipping his feet into a pair of house slippers.

'Do you mind?' he asked Louis pointing to his shoes. 'There are another pair of house slippers for you to use. I keep extras for guests,' he explained timidly. He looked down and fidgeted with his rings. 'I um I just...I don't...'

'H,' Louis stopped him, reaching out and placing his hand over Harry's stopping him from fidgeting. The nickname fell out easily from his mouth just like the old days. He knew Harry mumbled and stammered when he was flustered or embarrassed. Some things never did change! 'It's alright. Your house, your rules.' Louis took off his shoes and put on the extra pair of house slippers feeling immediately much more comfortable and at home.

'Thank you,' Harry told him softly, 'but please do make yourself at home. I want you to be comfortable here okay.' Louis smirked at him.

'Anymore house rules I should know about?' Harry returned his smirk.

'Depends. Are you still messy?' Louis chuckled.

'Some things never change mate.' Harry smiled brightly at him.

'Then we have rules to discuss,' he said as he walked further into the house. As Louis followed him into a vast living room, he noticed Harry's awards, some from when he was with One Direction and new ones he got from his solo career. He looked at the framed records of his solo album, gold and platinum. Framed photos of him with the cast of Dunkirk, pictures of him with Alessandro Michele at the Met Gala. He felt a surge of pride for Harry. Harry had made it and he would continue to make it because he was good at what he did and he loved doing it. He walked on after Harry and came into a large open plan kitchen and dining room with a glass wall overlooking a huge garden with a pool.

'Wow.' Louis breathed. Harry shrugged as he put Louis' bag down near the kitchen counter.

'The house itself is not too big,' Harry told him. 'I wasn't after a very big house. It would be very lonely just me in a big house but when I came to see this one, the garden and pool were what captivated me. I love it out there. And the location is very private. Keeps the fans away. Tea?' he asked Louis. Louis tore his eyes away from the glimmering pool and turned to Harry.

'Yorkshire?' Harry grinned at him.

'Had some imported from back home,' he said as he filled the kettle. 'Sometimes I miss home and I knew for sometime that I was going to ask you to come over so I stocked up. Sit Lou. Make yourself comfortable. Are you hungry? Can I make you something to eat?' Louis pulled out a stool at the breakfast bar and sat, watching Harry making tea and pondering on the fact that Harry had said that he had been meaning to ask Louis over for sometime. That made him feel warm and happy inside.

'Nah tea's good H. I had a meal on the plane,' Louis said. And I'm too nervous to hear what you want to say to eat he nearly added but held his tongue. When Harry had the two mugs of tea done, he turned to Louis.

'Come in the living room. We'll be more comfortable there.' Louis got up and followed Harry into the living room. They sat on the couch, close but not too close. Harry placed the mugs on the coffee table then looked at Louis with a smile on his face. Louis held his breath, bracing himself for it.

'So thank you for coming out here on such short notice. I know this was probably out of the blue but I really wanted to tell you what I have to tell you face to face.' Harry fidgeted with his rings again and Louis was becoming even more nervous. Here we go! He was bracing himself ready to hear Harry say the words and he had his own words planned to tell Harry too. Harry cleared his throat then looked at Louis, his green eyes shining.

'Lou, I'm getting married!' Louis sat stock still as if he had been turned into a marble statue. He felt those words punch him like a fist in his stomach, his breath leaving his mouth in a puff that sounded like a gasp.

And what? What? Louis didn't know what hit him. Married? Did Harry say he was getting married? No. No no no no. Louis felt the whole room tip side ways, his vision darkening, his ears ringing and Harry was sitting there smiling big at him as if Louis' heart hadn't just been shattered into a million piece. He had to react, say something!

'M-married?' he stammered out dumbly because maybe he had heard wrong. Yes he had probably heard wrong.

'Yes,' Harry smiled happily. 'I'm getting married Lou and I called you out here because I want you to be my best man!' Louis blinked. Fucking what? His best man? Fuck no! Harry moved closer to him. 'What do you say? I haven't called the others yet but I will. I wanted you to be here first for the news and to meet my Daniel.' Louis’ head was spinning. Daniel? Who the fuck was Daniel? Where the fuck did he come from? How come he didn’t know about him? 

'I ...um...I ugh...' What the fuck was he supposed to say or do? Jump up and down and congratulate him? His Harry was getting married to this...this Daniel dude and no this wasn’t the plan what the fuck? He hadn’t come here for this! Harry must’ve sensed his shock. He moved a little closer to Louis.

'I know it must come as a shock to you. Hell it's been a shock for me too since the day Daniel proposed to me. I still can't believe it,' Harry gushed and Louis' insides twisted into tight knots and he was sure they were going to snap any minute. But reality was setting in as he looked at Harry's happy face. Harry was happy. He was glowing. Someone was making him this happy. Harry was in love and about to get married. Louis cleared his throat and reached for his mug of tea as the ugly truth began to sink in and settle sourly at the bottom of his stomach. He took a gulp of hot tea, not caring that is scorched his throat. Harry hadn’t called him here to try and rekindle what they had or to tell him that he was his one true love but to tell him that he had found love with someone else and he was going to marry him.

'When...ugh when are you getting married?' he asked, the words grating his throat. This was so wrong!

'In a week,' Harry said happily and Louis nearly choked on his next sip of tea, his eyes going wide and bulging a little out of their sockets.

'A week?' he asked.

'Well, I've been with Daniel for over a year now and he proposed last month and we don't want to wait,' Harry explained. A year? They had been together a year and Harry never told him?

‘Why the rush?' Louis asked feeling the pieces of his broken heart fall to his toes. A bloody week?

'My second album will be coming out soon and Jeff is already making tour arrangements which will have me on the road for almost a year. Daniel, he's an actor, he's about to wrap up filming a series and he's taking some time off so we thought it would be amazing to get married before my tour kicks off so he can come with me.' Louis wanted to pass out into oblivion. This wasn’t happening. He was having some kind of nightmare which he was sure he was going to wake up from soon.

'Wow,' he said. 'That's um...yeah that's um great H. I'm happy for you.' Harry smiled happily and showed Louis a ring on his left hand fourth finger which Louis had failed to notice in the jumble of other rings on Harry's fingers. Louis looked at the ring and wished he could burn it by glaring at it hard enough. Harry clutched the ring hand to his chest.

'He's so amazing Lou. He made it all romantic when he proposed. You know me. I'm a sucker for these things and he knows me so well. He made it all so perfect and I said yes right away. Finally, all I've ever wanted in life is happening. And he told me that once my tour wraps up we'll start thinking about kids. I can't wait Lou I'm so happy. I'll be a dad soon.' Louis wanted to throw up and puke his guts out. Of course Harry was happy! Louis remembered perfectly well those nights both of them squashed in a single bed, tangled up in each other talking about their dreams and future and Harry wanting it all, marriage, house and kids with him before it all went to hell! He had wanted all that with Harry too but it had been impossible at the time now this Daniel swooped in like a bloody knight in shining armor and was going to give Harry everything HE had ever wanted to give Harry but never could! It was unfair because they never got the chance to live their love. The first few years in the band had been magical falling in love with each other and dreaming of a future together but Louis had never fought for Harry or for their dreams. He had settled on being friends, afraid to rock the boat. Now someone else was going to give Harry all that he had ever dreamed about.

'Lou?' Harry called softly to him. Louis looked at him, their eyes meeting and he forced himself to smile even though it hurt like hell.

'I'm so happy for you H, really I am. It just came as a surprise that's all but honestly I'm happy you're happy.' Harry giggled and Louis wanted to punch himself in the face.

'So tonight we have a dinner reservation and I am going to introduce you to Daniel. He already knows how important you are to me and I want you to meet him first before the others get here because I want you two to have some time to get to know each other. Just the two of you.' Harry paused and looked at Louis fondly. ‘Your opinion of Daniel is very important to me. I really want to know what you think about him Lou.’ Louis internally scoffed. As if his opinion here mattered! He wasn’t the one marrying Daniel! He wanted to tell Harry his opinion of Daniel alright but he probably wouldn’t like what Louis had to say even though he hadn’t even met the guy yet! His opinion of Daniel would not change anything and Harry would marry him whether Louis approved of him or not! Louis would rather poke his eye out with a rusted spoon than meet Harry's fiancé. He suddenly realized that that was why Harry hadn't kept in touch for the past year. He had been busy falling in love, too distracted with Daniel to even send him a text and he had forgotten all about him. It hurt and it killed him inside that Daniel had made Harry forget him but as he looked at Harry’s hopeful face, he knew that he couldn’t hurt him. He had done enough of that. He smiled at Harry and hoped that Harry couldn’t see the pain in his eyes.

'I'd be happy to,' Louis replied. And Harry beamed happily.

'I'm so happy. Thank you Lou. I know you two will get along so well. Daniel is amazing. He’s really smart and kind and he has a lot in common with you. You’ll see. My two favorite people! I'm so blessed.' Louis doubted he and Daniel had anything in common besides their love for Harry.

x

Later that evening, Louis was in the living room, pacing the length of the room and back again waiting for Harry to come down, his thoughts all jumbled up in his head. He still couldn't believe that Harry was getting married. His Harry marrying someone else! How did that happen? He had come here full of hope that Harry was going to confess to him that he still loved him and ask him to try again because now they were older and free of band obligations and Louis had been oh so ready to say yes and take that missed chance. Instead, Harry was getting married to this Daniel. He hadn’t seen this coming. Talk about a plot twist! Louis hadn't even met him and he hated him already.

Harry walked into the room and Louis nearly passed out. He was so beautiful dressed in wide black pants and a sheer black blouse complete with a pair of Gucci horse bit loafers, his short curls messy but styled. His nails were painted and Louis marveled at how far Harry had come. At how he had settled into his true self without apology. At that moment, he felt full of pride and love for him and a feeling of despair and deep anxiety filled his entire being because Harry now belonged to another man. Harry gave Louis a small timid smile.

'You look lovely,' Harry commented on Louis' outfit, a pair of black tailored pants and a white button down shirt complete with a pair of shiny dress shoes. Harry’s eyes lingered on him. Louis didn’t dress like this much, always preferring sweats and hoodies or tracksuits and back when they were in the band, skinny jeans and t-shirts, so when he dressed up, Harry always took a moment longer to take him in. Louis cleared his throat because was Harry staring?

'Thanks,' Louis replied. 'You....um you look lovely too.' Harry smiled wider.

'Thank you. Shall we get going then? I don't want to make Daniel wait. He is very punctual,' Harry said with a fond roll of his eyes as he made his way towards the front door. Louis followed him reluctantly. Of course Daniel is bloody is punctual and of course you wouldn't make him wait! Daniel seemed perfect. Daniel seemed to be everything that he wasn’t. Mr. Fucking Perfect! His throat felt too tight. Louis didn’t know if it was from anger or the sad emotions choking him. He just knew that he couldn't breathe. His chest felt tight and hollow, his lungs constricted, suffocating him. Still, he followed Harry outside to a chauffeured car that was waiting for them. They got in and Harry gave the driver the address of the restaurant then settled back for the ride.

'Are you alright Lou?' Harry asked him, his voice tinged with worry. Louis looked at him, hoping that he was schooling his face into one that conveyed ease and relaxation and happiness. He probably looked constipated!

'Yeah I um I'm fine just nervous,' he lied, rubbing both his hands on his thighs. Harry reached over and placed his hand over both of Louis’ stopping his habit that he did whenever he was anxious, making Louis' heart jump right up into his throat. Harry patted his hands gently like he used to do and Louis felt so endeared that Harry still remembered this habit he had.

'Don't be. It's just me Lou and you really don't need to feel nervous about meeting Daniel. He's really down to earth and kind. And he knows all about you because I haven’t stopped talking about you to him so rest assured he kinda knows you and he likes you. You'll love him.' No I won't. I hate him. He took you from me, Louis wanted to scream at him but he opted for a small smile and a nod instead. Harry patted his hands one more time and removed his hand, Louis immediately feeling the loss of that warm, familiar hand cutting through him awakening in him a fierce longing for Harry. The drive resumed in uncomfortable silence, Louis bouncing his knee up and down until Harry reached over and placed his hand on his knee, stilling him. Occasionally Harry squeezed his knee gently as if giving him comfort and courage but in reality his touch was burning Louis from the inside out. The feel of his soft warm hand on his knee was further reminding him that Harry was engaged to be married. To another man that was not him! He felt a panic attack starting at the pit of his stomach, his anxiety soaring but he didn’t have time to panic because the driver stopped the car. Harry squeezed his knee one last time.

'We're here,' he said softly as if scared to startle Louis. Louis felt the sudden urge to throw a tantrum and not get out of the car but he knew that he couldn't do that. Harry would wonder why and he possibly couldn't tell him that he still had feelings for him, always had feelings for him even when he broke it off with him and that he was against him marrying this Daniel dude because he wanted him for himself. Harry opened the car door and got out, waiting for Louis. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled, preparing himself for an encounter he did not want. He got out of the car and thankfully there were no paps or fans. He didn't know how Harry did it but he was thankful for it. He followed Harry inside the restaurant where he was met by a suited man who showed them to a private part of the restaurant, secluded from the rest of the main dining area. And then Louis saw him, standing up to greet them though his eyes were solely on Harry, full of love and adoration. He was gorgeous, taller than Harry, brown hair, blue eyes and a goatee. And Harry seemed to sail on air right into his arms. Louis watched as Daniel hugged him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

'Hi sweetheart,' Daniel told him gently, looking at Harry as if he was a divine apparition.

'Hi darling,' Harry replied, placing another kiss on Daniel's lips. Then he turned to Louis. 'Daniel this Louis,' Harry said holding his hand out to Louis. 'Louis, this is Daniel.' Louis outstretched his hand and Daniel took it, shaking it firmly.

'Hello Louis. I am so happy to finally meet you. Harry has talked so much about you I feel like I already know you. At last I get to meet the famous Louis Tomlinson.' Louis smiled because he couldn't exactly scowl. He wanted to tell Harry that he already had an opinion about Daniel : ass kisser! He knew a kiss ass when he saw one! Louis smiled at him hoping he didn’t look fake.

'Nice to meet you. Can’t say I already know you. I only just learned about you today,' he said because he couldn't keep his sass all the way down. No Sir! Daniel's smile faltered a little at the news that Harry had never mentioned his fiancé to his best friend. However, he gave Louis another smile.

'Well, we'll change that. I want to know you and I want you to know me. You're an important person in Harry's life and I want us to get to know each other and get along because we will both be in my soon to be husband’s life and it wouldn’t do for us not to get along would it?' Daniel said as he pulled Harry closer and placed a kiss on his temple. Louis felt jealous and he wanted to pull Harry to him and tell Daniel to fuck off but Harry smiled and cuddled into Daniel as he reached out and took Louis' hand squeezing it gently. Louis nodded. He felt out of place. This felt wrong. So many kinds of wrong because he was here meeting Harry’s fiancé` and never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought that he would be meeting Harry’s future husband. They all sat down and Daniel called the waiter over and they ordered drinks. Louis felt he might need a shit load of booze to get through this dinner.

'So how did you meet?' Louis asked because he had to stop them being all cute and lovey dovey in front of his face. He would retch right in Daniel’s lap! Daniel reached out and took Harry's hand, intertwining their fingers, raising it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Harry blushed and Louis wanted to roll his eyes because seeing Harry in love with someone else was making him want to claw off his skin.

'I had been invited to a party for some actor who had just finished filming some movie. I can’t remember who it was or what the movie was because I didn’t even know back then. My agent just told me to attend this party and I went. Can’t say no to free publicity.’ Daniel laughed. Harry giggled. And Louis gagged in his mouth. He wasn’t funny but Harry seemed to find him hilarious. ‘Anyway, there was this big party in this big mansion in Hollywood. You know how it is with these big Hollywood parties and my agent introduced me to Harry. Of course, I knew who he was, I mean who doesn't? My baby is so talented.’ He placed a kiss on Harry’s cheek proud as a peacock, making Louis wonder how dared he, how presumptuous of him to feel this proud of Harry when he had only known him for a year! He had no right. It was HIS job to feel proud of Harry because he had been with him since he was 16 and watched him grow and evolve into the man he was today. ‘I was smitten right away,’ Daniel continued looking at Harry fondly making him blush. ‘I mean he’s gorgeous and funny and smart and has the voice of an angel. We hit it off right away. From the first moment I said hi to him, I knew I wanted to marry him.' Louis wanted to roll his eyes so badly. He felt as if he was in some kind of Julia Roberts slash Hugh Grant rom-com for fuck’s sake! Harry had said that he was romantic but Daniel was cheesier than cheese! And he thought Harry was funny? Seriously? Louis internally scoffed. He was the only one who found Harry funny excuse you very much! He forced another a smile that actually made his face hurt.

'Cute,' he said dryly as he took a sip of his beer. Daniel and Harry smiled at each other not really noticing Louis’ discomfort. Daniel carried on.

'We exchanged phone numbers and texted and called each other constantly and a week after we met, I asked Harry out on a date and he accepted. Obviously we were papped together right away. The con of being a celebrity. You can't keep anything secret.' Louis chuckled and wondered if Daniel knew that he and Harry had been a secret for a very long time. Oh Danny boy, how naïve you are. He grinned at Daniel.

'Oh trust me Danny, if you want to keep something secret, you keep it secret. Right Haz?' Harry started out of his romantic induced haze and looked at Louis a little confused but he shrugged one shoulder.

'I guess so,' he said quietly his eyes narrowing slightly at Louis. He looked at Louis trying to decipher his mood but Louis just gave him one of his smiles where his eyes became slits and took another gulp of his beer. Harry knew that smile was fake as fuck! Daniel cleared his throat because he too was confused by the exchange between Harry and Louis.

'Shall we order then?' They ordered their food and some more drinks and made casual conversation, mostly Daniel and Harry talking about their relationship and being all cute with each other while Louis zoned out because he couldn't bear it so he tried to ignore it the best he could.

'Lou?' Harry asked. Louis blinked and looked at him, giving him a soft smile.

'Yes love?' he asked and almost bit the tip of his tongue off because why did he let that slip?

'I said I will be calling Liam, Niall and Zayn tomorrow to invite them to the wedding.' Louis scoffed as he took a sip of his drink.

'You'll be wasting a phone call on Zayn,' Louis deadpanned. Harry looked down at his plate, his face serious.

'Somebody has to bridge the distance Lou. It’s been a long time now.' Louis chuckled.

'That bridge has long since burned down Harry. Zayn doesn't want anything to do with us anymore. We tried haven't we? Let it go love,' Louis told him softly using his softest tone of voice.

'Okay,' Harry whispered quietly. Daniel looked from Louis to Harry not entirely pleased by the way Louis dismissed Harry’s request and how quickly Harry was to agree with Louis. He placed his hand over Harry's squeezing it lightly.

'Sweetheart if you want to invite him then call him. It's never too late to fix broken bridges.' Louis snorted a laugh. Daniel looked at him raising a questioning eyebrow.

'Mate like I said that bridge is burnt out. There's no fixing it and Harry knows it. You weren’t there when it all crashed down. It would save him further pain.' Harry looked at Daniel.

'He's right. We tried but Zayn never let us in again. I don’t know I guess I’m just being a sentimental fool.' Harry turned to Louis and missed Daniel grounding his teeth together. 'Lou we want to invite your sisters to the wedding. It that okay with you? Do you think they'll come?' Louis gave him a genuine smile.

'Of course they'll come. That would be amazing. Thank you Harry.' Louis overlooked the “we” on purpose and for that same purpose he thanked Harry only for the invitation. Daniel and Louis looked at each other, one smirking, the other one glaring. Oh it was on! Bring it Danny boy!

Thankfully for Louis, dinner was done and by his third fake yawn, Harry got the message. He needed to go home and sleep off this nightmare.

'Dan, we're gonna go,’ Harry told Daniel. ‘Louis had a long flight and he's tired. He hasn't had a chance to rest,' Harry said apologetically. Daniel gave him a smile.

'Of course sweetheart.' They all got up and walked outside the restaurant after Daniel paid the bill. The chauffeured car was waiting for them, parked behind Daniel's driver. Daniel cupped Harry's face in both his hands and kissed him gently, then placed a kiss on his nose.

'I'll see you tomorrow okay. Sleep well baby.' Then he turned to Louis and held out his hand giving him a toothy smile. 'It's been a pleasure meeting you Louis. See you soon.' Louis shook his hand.

'Likewise,' he said dryly. Not that he meant it! It would be his pleasure to not see him anytime soon. Louis got in the car not wanting to see anymore PDA. After a minute or two Harry slid into the seat next to him. The driver pulled away from the curb and started the drive back home. They remained silent, Louis looking out of his side window and Harry fidgeting with his fingers. When they got home, Louis headed straight for the stairs wanting to be alone so he could finally release all his pent up emotions and give his aching heart a bit of relief but Harry stopped him.

'Lou? W-what did you think of him? D-do you um like him?' Harry asked uncertainly, his voice soft and quiet and that voice reminded Louis of the early days when Harry used to be nervous to perform and afterwards he’d ask Louis if he had performed okay. Louis looked at him and it physically hurt him to look at Harry now because he had lost him and he was trying to struggle with that fact while still appeasing Harry by pretending he was happy for him. His first instinct was to wrap him up in his arms and assure him that everything was alright but he couldn’t do that for more than one reason. So, he faked a little bit more for Harry’s sake.

'I think he's lovely H.' He really wanted to chew his tongue and spit it out after saying that. Harry smiled at him his eyes brightening and Louis honestly didn’t know why his opinion about Daniel mattered so much to Harry. Regardless of what Louis thought or said, Harry was going to marry him.

‘Really?’ Harry asked him excited like a child. Jesus Christ let it go, Louis wanted to scream at him. He smiled at Harry.

‘Really Haz. You um you ugh make a l-lovely couple,’ Louis choked out. Harry beamed at him happily.

'Want a cuppa or do you want to sleep?' Time alone with Harry! He’ll take it. Fuck sleep and his jetlag and his venting! All that can wait. His time with Harry was limited.

'I'll have a cuppa. Do you mind if I change out of these clothes?' Harry grinned at him.

'Sure,' Harry said. 'We can sit out by the pool if you want.'

'Yeah that would be nice,' Louis replied giving Harry a sincere smile. No need to be fake now. He hopped up the stairs to the guest bedroom and pulled out a pair of shorts not bothering with a tee shirt. It was too humid in L.A. When he went back downstairs, he saw the sliding glass doors leading to the garden were open. He stepped out and saw Harry sitting on one of the deck chairs wearing shorts and a tee shirt. When he heard Louis approach, he looked up and his eyes widened a little when a shirtless Louis approached him and flopped down on the deckchair next to him. Louis didn’t miss Harry’s small intake of breath.

'It's too fucking hot here,' Louis grumbled picking up his mug of tea. The night was still hot, the humidity heavy. Crickets chirped all around them.

'Yet here we are drinking tea,' Harry commented.

'We're British H, of course we drink tea! Or have you forgotten that you are indeed British?' Louis joked with him. Harry looked down at his own mug of tea, the smile sliding off his face.

'I haven't forgotten anything,' he said quietly and Louis didn't know if that comment held double meaning or not. Harry looked up at him his eyes holding a look that was curious.

'So you really like Daniel then?' he asked lowly. Louis took a sip of his tea.

'I do,' he said. 'How old is he?'

'Thirty four,' Harry replied.

'Isn't he a bit too old for you?' Louis said. Harry giggled.

'Age is just a number Lou. I'm twenty six. He's not that much older.' Louis shrugged.

'He's taller than you. You look small next to him which is weird,' he pointed out and he hated it. He hated that Daniel was taller and could cuddle Harry. He hated that Daniel engulfed Harry with his body. He hated everything about fucking Daniel. Harry smiled fondly, biting down gently on his lower lip.

'Yeah he's six two and he's British. He's from Hackney.'

'Nice,' Louis said. Not! They fell silent for a while just the soft ripples of pool, the rustling leaves of the trees and the crickets.

'I'm going to call Liam and Niall later. I want them here for the wedding week. Daniel and I have a lot planned and we want you all involved. Your sisters too. We have a family dinner when they all get here with Daniel's family and mine so I can introduce you all to Daniel’s family. Mum and Dad, Gemma and Michal are coming tomorrow.'

'Oh I can't wait to see them. Been a long time since I last saw them,' Louis said taking a sip of his tea. Harry smiled a small smile. Something in Louis' behaviour was unsettling him. Yes they hadn't spoken or met for over a year but Harry knew him for another nine years and Louis was not being truly honest. He felt it in his gut and Harry always trusted his gut.

'Yes they will be happy to see you. It's been a while since they last saw you too,' he said choosing to ignore what he was seeing because he was always the one to over think things. Maybe he was over thinking Louis’ behavior too. Louis was probably just tired. Louis put his empty mug on the small table between the deck chairs and stood up.

'Right I'm gonna hit the hay sack Haz. I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning and then you fill me in on my best man duties yeah.' Harry nodded and gave him another smile.

'I will. Good night Lou.'

'Good night H.'

x

Louis woke up disoriented, not knowing where he was. How long had he slept? He reached for his phone and it said noon. Noon? He sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room until his sleep laden brain reminded him that he was in L.A...at Harry's house...Harry...who was engaged and getting married to fucking Daniel! He swung his legs off the bed and rubbed his tired eyes. He hated being jet lagged! He dragged himself to the shower and got in, washing the sleep and sluggishness away. When he was done, he put on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt and padded downstairs in urgent need of some tea. As he walked into the kitchen, he heard the soft murmurs of voices out in the garden. He peeked out and saw Harry and Daniel cuddling on a deck chair, smiling at each other, kissing, Daniel caressing Harry's curls and poking his dimples while Harry giggled into his neck, his hand up under Daniel’s t-shirt. Suddenly Louis felt as if he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think or move. His eyes were locked on them as they smiled into their kisses and touched each other innocently yet those touches were intimate in ways that made Louis weak and green with envy. They were engaged so they were allowed to cuddle and kiss but it didn't sit well with Louis. No. He was burning on the inside, jealousy coursing through his veins making him see red. Which was wrong and uncalled for because Harry was his best friend and he should be happy for him and supportive and glad that he had found someone who loved him enough to propose to him. After all, he had been the one to break off what they had so now, as his fucking best man he needed to get his shit together and pull through! Louis snorted at himself because fate was playing the fucking joke of the century on him. The love of his life was getting married to this amazing man who he hated but couldn’t really hate because he was nice and awesome and he had been assigned as Harry’s fucking best man! How ironic! He took in a few deep breaths to calm himself down and push away the jealousy, pasted on a smile and walked out on to the deck in the bright afternoon sunshine.

'Good morning,' he said trying to sound cheerful. He was glad that his appearance out on the deck broke their kiss. Good! They pulled apart but stayed wrapped up in each other, Harry sitting between Daniel's long legs with Daniel's arms wrapped around Harry's middle and his chin on Harry’s shoulder. 

'Good morning,' they both said together and Louis internally cringed. He hoped they weren't that type of couple who finished each other's sentences or mirrored each other. Then his brain quietly and gently reminded him that he and Harry used to mirror each other all the time. And finish each other’s sentences. They HAD been THAT couple! That stung.

'You slept in,' Harry said blissed and relaxed in Daniel's arms, a happy smile on his lips. Daniel kissed the side of his face.

'Honey he's probably jet lagged. It’s a long flight from London and time zones are a bitch.' Louis felt awkward standing there so he pointed back to the kitchen.

'Mind if I make myself a cuppa H?' Harry rolled his eyes fondly.

'Lou I thought I told you to make yourself at home. On second thoughts I'll come and make us brunch.' He turned his face to Daniel. 'Hungry love?' Daniel nodded. Harry heaved himself out of the deck chair and went inside. Louis sat down on another deck chair and looked out at the pool glittering in the midday sun just to avoid looking at Daniel.

'He called everyone earlier this morning,' Daniel informed him. 'Your friends and sisters and brother will arrive this evening.' His tone was conversational and cheerful, happy and it made Louis grind down his molars till his jaw hurt. His voice just grated on Louis' nerves. His whole presence in Harry’s life grated on Louis’ every nerve and cell in his body.

'That's good,' Louis said, his voice flat. He really didn’t want to engage in conversation with Daniel about the fucking wedding. Daniel swung his legs off the deck chair and sat across from Louis, looking at his profile. Louis could feel his eyes on him.

'Louis, I want us to get along. I know I'm a stranger to you and I know how much Harry means to you. He’s your best friend and I know you are very protective of him so I want you to know that I would never hurt him. I love him. So much. I never thought I would meet the love of my life but he is it. He’s the one for me.' Louis felt his stomach twist and churn. He wanted to tell Daniel to fuck off, that Harry was the love of HIS life not just his best friend. He wanted to tell Daniel that he knew nothing about him or his feelings for Harry but for Harry's sake he couldn't. He would never jeopardize his happiness again. So he smiled while his heart cracked in his chest, keeping his eyes on the pool because he couldn’t look at the face of the man who just confessed to how much he loved the man Louis was in love with.

'He looks happy,' he said softly. Daniel smiled at Louis and it was so hard to fucking hate him.

'I do my best to keep him happy. He deserves nothing but happiness and it's all I want for him. That's why I want you and I to get along. Harry wants you in his life and so do I. When we have kids, we want you in their lives too. Probably Harry will want you to be godfather to them and I find absolutely no objection to that. You are family Louis. Our family. That's why later this afternoon, you and I are going shopping.' Now Louis turned to look at him because what the fuck? Shopping? After telling him that they wanted to him to be godfather to their kids? Was he fucking kidding or?

'You and me? Shopping? What for?' Louis asked a little surprised and shocked because no, he didn't want to go fucking shopping with Daniel. Daniel grinned at him and it was really so hard to hate him. So, so hard. But Louis was determined to hate him!

'Well, you are Harry's best man so we need to go choose a suit for you and get the first fitting out of the way. We also need to get you on board with all the wedding preparations we have so far. We would really appreciate your input and opinions. And I need your help sorting out the stag night. We're having it joint by the way.’ Daniel shrugged a little shyly and gave Louis a small hopeful smile. ‘And I thought you know, it would be nice for us to bond. Spend some time together just you and me, away from Harry. I really want to get to know you for myself Louis. I mean, I already feel like I know you from all that Harry has told me about you but I want to get to know you.' Louis swallowed thickly, his throat too dry. Where was his fucking tea? This was all so wrong. Bond with the man who was marrying his Harry? Fuck no! Louis didn’t want to do any sort of bonding with Daniel. But before Louis could find his voice and reply, Daniel pointed to his arm. 'Is that a dagger tattoo?' he asked surprised.

'Yeah,' Louis said, completely thrown off by the change of topic. Daniel smiled and shook his head.

'What a coincidence. Harry has the rose in the same place! It’s common knowledge that the rose and dagger go together and the place where you both have them tattooed match perfectly.' Louis blinked. Coincidence? He wanted to laugh in his face. Coincidence my ass! Mate, there is nothing coincidental about our tattoos, Louis wanted to say to him. He was about to point out the other “coincidental” tattoos he and Harry had that matched but suddenly a realization stopped him from blurting it all out. Harry had not told Daniel about their matching tattoos. From what he had been told by Daniel so far was that Harry had spoken a lot about him so why hadn’t Harry told him about their tattoos? Just then Harry came out carrying a mug of tea for Louis and a glass of iced tea for Daniel.

'Here you go boys,' Harry said happily.

'Harry,' Daniel said, still smiling. He pointed to Louis’ tattoo. 'Louis has the dagger tattoo right where your rose is.’ Harry's smile faltered and his eyes darted to Louis, a silent plea in those green eyes which Louis understood perfectly well. Harry was still so very easy to read.

'Ugh yeah um it was quite random,' Harry muttered. Louis wanted to call him out on his bullshit. He wanted to tell Daniel that it wasn’t a coincidence or random. No! For the few years they had been together, they had had matching tattoos including the first words they ever said to each other but Harry was looking at him in a way that Louis knew he couldn't do that to him and that there was a reason why Harry had not told Daniel about their tattoos. As much as he wanted Harry for himself, he couldn’t tell Daniel the truth. That was up to Harry. Louis shrugged as he took a sip of his tea.

'Roses and daggers are quite common where tats go. Harry had the rose before me. And one day I just saw the dagger and wanted it. Never really crossed my mind that Harry had the rose. I kinda forgot he had it actually. He had so many. It’s hard to keep track of all the shit he’s tattooed into his skin over the years. Some of them are so random.' He tried to sound non-chalant. Harry gave Daniel a small smile and turned quickly and hurried back into the kitchen to finish their brunch but not before giving Louis a thankful look. Louis made a mental note to ask him about this later.

Brunch was a quiet affair. They ate out by the pool under the shade of a terraced part of the garden. The sun was too hot for Louis' liking and he ended up playing around with his salad, removing bits of avocado from his plate. Daniel drained his wine glass, wiped his mouth with the linen napkin because Harry never used paper napkins and pushed his plate away.

'That was wonderful sweetheart but I gotta get going.' He looked at his Rolex. 'I have the final wedding suit fitting in an hour and I can't be late.' He leaned over and kissed Harry, softly, slowly. Louis gripped his fork so tightly his knuckles turned white. 'I'll see you tonight baby,' Daniel murmured. Then he turned to Louis. 'And I will see you at around four. I'll pick you up. Be ready.' He put on his sunglasses, grabbed his car keys and left. Louis and Harry were left alone in silence. Not the comfortable kind. It felt heavy, thick and stifling. Louis picked up his beer bottle and took a gulp all the while looking at Harry who looked everywhere besides at Louis.

'You didn't tell him,' Louis said quietly. Harry let his fork drop on to the plate with a clattering sound. Apparently he had been waiting for Louis to say something about it.

'What's there to tell him Lou?'

'What's there to tell him?' he asked incredulous. 'We were together for a couple years H.' Louis couldn't hide the pain in his voice even if he wanted to. Harry looked at him.

'And? We were young. We got caught up in it all.'

'That's a lie,' Louis said. 'And you fucking know it.'

'Well what's the use of telling him all about that? It’s in the past.' Harry spat at him not really wanting to tell Louis that he had been the one to end it with him and insist they remain friends. Or the one who went off and knocked up some random girl he found at a club while pissed drunk. He didn’t want to go there, he really didn’t.

'Are you fucking serious? Didn't he tell you about any of his past relationships?'

'Yes he did tell me,' Harry said pouting.

'And you choose to start your married life on a lie.' Harry threw his napkin on the table.

'I don't see the point in telling him Lou. We were never exclusive. Nobody knew....'

'Nobody knew,' Louis laughed bitterly. 'Everyone knew!'

'Everyone suspected. We never confirmed anything.'

'We never denied it either.'

'You did,' Harry accused him. 'You tweeted about it.' Louis scoffed.

'You're still burnt about that? You know that wasn't me but you're never going to let me live it down are you?'

'Why is this even still an issue Lou?' Harry asked him his voice rising.

'What are you going to tell him when he “coincidentally” notices more of our matching tattoos? Lie some more? Make up excuses?'

'Why do you care what I tell him? It’s my relationship not yours! It's none of your business.' Harry wanted to scream in his face and remind him that he had broken his fucking heart when he had left him and when he had gone off and have a child so Louis really had no right to meddle in his relationship and if Harry chose to keep their past relationship a secret, then he was going to keep it secret. Louis shook his head and stood up, the pain in his heart nearly crippling him.

'You're right. It's none of my fucking business. It's your relationship.' With that he stormed into the house and up to his room. The fact of the matter was that he was offended that Harry never mentioned their relationship to Daniel. Every couple talked about their past relationships so why was Harry so reluctant to not let Daniel know about them and what they had? It irritated him that Harry would not talk about them but he could do nothing about it. He took another shower to wash away his frustrations and sweat then figured out what to wear. When he was done there was fifteen minutes to spare before Daniel picked him up. He went downstairs and found Harry in the living room watching a movie. Louis sat down next to him, not too close but close enough. Harry continued to stare at the telly. Louis sighed heavily. He always hated fighting with Harry and he knew that if they were going to make things right, he had to make the first step because Harry was a stubborn son of a bitch.

'I'm sorry if I over stepped,' Louis said. Harry lowered the volume of the telly.

'You didn't,' he said softly. Harry turned on the sofa and faced Louis. 'Why did you get upset that I didn't mention us to Daniel?' he asked curiously. Louis shrugged. He couldn’t tell him that he was petty and wanted Daniel to know that Louis had had his fiancé` first, had had his heart, his soul, his mind and his body before him. Yeah he was petty like that.

'I don't know. I kinda thought you would've. Isn't that what people in a relationship do? Talk about their past loves?'

'Not always,' Harry said, his voice low. 'Some just avoid them.' Louis nodded. So Harry was avoiding what they had. Lovely.

‘So you want to avoid ours.’ Louis said because yes he was petty and a glutton for punishment and he couldn’t let it go. It wasn’t a question but a fact. ‘Why?’ Harry shrugged.

‘I don’t know. I just don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to talk about it.’ Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled softly because fuck it hurt.

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘It's your relationship.' He wanted to scream in Harry’s face that he didn’t want to be a fucking secret, that the way Harry was hiding him made him feel all kinds of wrong and dirty. He wanted to remind him of the times Harry had cried for him and begged him to not leave him. He wanted to remind Harry that Harry had loved him and now he refused to talk about him to the man he was going to marry. What Louis failed to realize was that maybe it still hurt Harry to talk about it.

'Thank you,' Harry said. 'And thank you for lying for me. I um never expected him to notice.' Daniel's horn sounded from the driveway. Harry turned back to look at the telly.

'Guess I'd better go,' Louis said as he got up. He looked down at Harry who kept his eyes fixed on the telly. 'Don't worry H, I'm not going to tell him anything. Your secret is safe with me,' he said a little bitterly because he was his fucking secret and he hated it. He walked towards the door feeling pained and disappointed. They had been closeted for the whole duration of their relationship and now Harry had just pushed him into a deeper, darker closet.

X

Later that evening, Louis and Daniel returned to Harry's home to find Harry cooking dinner and some bad news. Liam, Niall and Louis' sisters were delayed at Heathrow and were due to arrive in the morning instead of later that night. For that Louis was thankful. It had been an awkward afternoon with Daniel doing wedding things and looking at locations for their stag night and having Daniel help him choose a suit and sit in for the fitting making sure everything with the suit was perfect. Louis let Daniel make the decisions regarding his suit and he said yes to all Daniel suggested regarding the stag night. He didn’t care. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to help with wedding plans for Harry but he did it regardless for the man that Louis was in love with. And it made it ten times worse when they entered the kitchen and Daniel called out “Honey I'm home” and kissed Harry lovingly, Harry who was wearing an apron and had a wooden spoon in his hand! It was so hard to watch them being so domestic. It was so hard to watch Harry making Daniel sample his food straight from the wooden spoon and laughing into the kisses that Daniel was pressing into his lips but Louis made himself strong because he had to do this for the happiness of the man that he loved. It’s what you did for the people you cared about and loved. You put their happiness before your own.

'I trust you had a good afternoon?' Harry asked as he poured a glass of wine for Daniel and handed Louis a cold beer. Daniel smiled happily at Louis and Louis hated how perfect he was, how he was everything Harry wanted.

'Yes it was productive. Louis and I got to know each other better and we managed to get a suit for Louis.' Harry smiled happily. He pecked Daniel's lips then walked over to Louis and engulfed him in a hug.

'My two favorite people. Thank you Louis. For everything. I'm so happy.' And Louis swallowed all his pain and grief and missed chances and regrets, looked at Harry and gave him one of his sunshine smiles.

'It's what you deserve Harry. Happiness. I can see that you have found it. It's all I have ever wanted for you.' You found someone who gave you all that I couldn’t give you, he wanted to add but bit his tongue. Harry glowed under Louis' words and cuddled into Daniel’s side. Daniel pulled him closer and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

They sat down to dinner in the dining room and chatted while they ate. Louis decided to put his feelings away. This wasn't about him. They had lost their chance a long time ago and Harry had clearly moved on and he was happy. He had to move on too. 

When dinner was over, Louis realized to his horror that Daniel was going to stay over. He excused himself and went up to his room. He showered and got into bed hoping that the next few days would pass quickly and he would get to return to London, away from Harry and Daniel and their love and happy home. However, as he closed his eyes to try and sleep and forget everything for a little while, he heard them. Harry was never one for quiet sex. He had always been loud and Louis stared at the ceiling listening to the love of his life moan and beg Daniel to please go faster and harder, the beautiful sounds falling from his lips making Louis hard as he remembered those times when it had been them. His mind took him back to when he had been the one making Harry moan and beg like that, remembering the way Harry moved beneath him, how he had taken him, his parted lips and flushed cheeks. Louis couldn't help himself. He slipped his hand into his shorts and jacked off to Harry's groans and moans, moving to the rhythm he had always moved with Harry and he knew the moment Harry came from the soft whimpering sounds that fell from his lips and Louis pictured his orgasm face behind his tightly closed eyes and that was what pushed Louis over the edge, whispering Harry’s name softly into the darkness while the tears rolled down the side of his face. 

He lay there panting in the dark, crying softly remembering and remembering those days past with Harry, letting the pain of the memories engulf him and swallow him whole. He deserved it. He had ruined everything and it was his own fault that Harry was now happily in love with the man he was about to marry in a few days. When his sobs subsided and his heart, though it still hurt felt a little more stable, he got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. He splashed his face with cold water and hoped that Daniel took good care of him afterwards because Harry always needed tender after sex care. 

X

The next day was a little bit more bearable for Louis. With Liam, Niall and his sisters around it was easy for Louis to out on a front and deal with his pain. Everyone loved Daniel and fussed over him (of course he was the new shiny boy) and they were very happy for Harry who looked every inch the blushing groom while he showed off his ring and fiancé`. Nobody asked Louis if he was okay or if he was hurting because as far as they knew, he and Harry had both gotten over each other a long time ago and Louis had never mentioned his feelings for Harry to anyone so nobody had a reason to be concerned about his feelings. It wasn't like he was expecting a pity party or anything. His pity party was just for one.

However that evening was something Louis didn't want to be a part of ; dinner with both families of the grooms. Louis dressed up in a nice plain dark grey suit with a white shirt and a silver tie. Seeing he was Harry's best man he had to make an impression even though he didn’t know why he had to make an impression or on whom. Harry’s family all knew him and Daniel’s family wouldn’t be interested in Harry’s best friend. Still, he wanted to make an impression. Secretly he knew that the only impression he wanted to make was on Harry.

As he made his way downstairs he heard voices; Harry and his sisters were in the kitchen, laughing with Harry. His sisters had always loved Harry as did his late mother and sister Fizzy. He had always been a part of the family so Louis couldn’t understand why they were so hyped up about Harry marrying Daniel. Shouldn’t they be like trying to wreck his engagement and setting him up secretly with Louis? Louis scoffed at the crazy thoughts swirling in his head but crazy times conjured up crazy thoughts. He walked into the kitchen and Harry stopped mid-sentence, his mouth a little open, eyes wide staring at Louis and internally Louis high fived himself because that was exactly the type of reaction he had been going for, that awed look on Harry’s face.

‘Lou,’ Harry whispered reverently, his eyes taking in Louis inch by inch. Louis grinned at him and turned around in a full circle his arms open by his sides showing himself off to Harry.

‘What do you think?’ Louis asked him. ‘Am I going to make a good impression on your in laws?’ Harry closed his mouth and swallowed thickly, a light pink blush settling on his cheeks.

‘You look…you um look amazing. That suit is gorgeous on you.’ Harry walked towards him and looked at him. ‘You don’t need to impress anyone Lou. Just be yourself yeah.’ Louis looked into Harry’s eyes and for a moment he was tempted to kiss him. Daniel be damned! But if he did kiss him, would Harry still feel the same and kiss him back or would it ruin their friendship? Louis blinked the crazy thought away. 

‘Yeah I mean meeting the parents for the first time and I am the best man so that’s like a lot of pressure.’ Harry chuckled.

‘You’ll be fine. You’ll have everyone wrapped around your little finger like you always do. No one can resist you Lou.’ Harry’s voice was soft and Louis wanted to contradict him by telling him that he himself was resisting him by getting married to Daniel but instead Louis looked down, blushing a little.

‘Shall we go then?’ he asked changing the subject because if Harry kept looking at him that way, with so much fond in his soft green eyes, he wouldn’t be held responsible for what came next. Harry nodded still looking a little dazed and that made Louis pleased because what if? No! He stopped himself. Harry was getting married to another man. As they filed outside to a waiting car, Louis made a mental note to call El and tell her all that was going on. He had received a few texts from her asking him how it was going with Harry and if they had managed to fix everything. Daisy, Phoebe and Lottie got in the car first then Louis allowed Harry to go in before him as he had always done (some habits are hard to break even if the object of your affections was getting married to someone else) then Louis settled in next to Harry.

The drive was relatively quiet with just the girls looking out the window, pointing and gasping and talking as the city of Los Angeles flashed by. Daniel lived in Beverly Hills. Of course he fucking did! The car stopped in front of a huge pair of fancy iron gates. The driver pressed buttons on the intercom, announced their arrival and soon the gates opened quietly allowing them entrance on to Daniel’s property. From what Louis could see, the grounds where huge with sprawling lawns and trees, flowers and other shrubbery. The car came to a stop in front of a mansion and Louis blew out a breath. Harry looked at him.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked him. Louis wanted to so much undo his tie and open the top button so he could breathe but he couldn’t. He had appearances to keep up.

‘Yeah its just…this house is fucking huge H. It’s intimidating!’ Harry giggled.

‘I’ll be living here once I’m married,’ he said softly as if sharing a secret. Louis looked at him with a little shock mixed with surprise.

‘You’re going to live here? What about your own house?’ What kind of dumb questions was he asking? Harry shrugged.

‘It’s just a house Lou. I’m going to put it on the market once I’m married. Daniel figured we could live here….’

‘What about you though?’ Louis interrupted him. ‘Do you want to live here?’ Harry nodded.

‘Yes. I love this house. It’s beautiful. I’ve spent many weekends here and I feel at home so it’s not going to be a big deal for me to move here. I’ve even been doing some redecorating and started moving some of my stuff here already.’ Louis offered him a small smile because this knowledge somehow seemed to take Harry further away from him. What if Louis wanted to visit him? He stopped himself from going into a panic attack because why would he want to visit Harry after he was married? He didn’t have time to wonder because Harry opened the car door and stepped out on to the paved driveway. His sisters followed Harry, looking around and marvelling at the beautiful house and setting. Louis took in a deep breath, exhaled and stepped out of the car, his eyes taking in the magnificent house in front of him. It was beautiful. Dusk had just set in, the sky was a lovely shade of pink and lilac, the trees surrounding the house rustled in the evening breeze their fairy lights twinkling softly. Solar lamps were blinking to life all over the grounds. The house seemed to be ablaze with every light inside shining from windows and doors. It felt peaceful here, tranquil even and Louis could see why Harry would want to live here. It sent a stabbing pain in his heart because he had lost his chance with Harry, he had given up and he had let him go. He could’ve given all this to Harry if only he had fought and not settled. He had listened to them instead of his own heart and look at what he was missing now.

‘Lou,’ Harry called softly. Louis shook himself out of his deprecating miserable thoughts. He gave Harry a smile not missing the concern in his eyes.

‘Sorry I just…I’m just taking everything in. It’s a bit overwhelming.’

‘Yeah sorry,’ Harry agreed. ‘I only told you yesterday that I’m getting married and I have rushed you into meeting my fiancé and now you’re about to meet his family. I’m so sorry. I.. I should’ve waited, given you some more time….’

‘Haz stop,’ Louis told him gently placing his hand over his. ‘It’s fine. I might be overwhelmed but its all in a good way. Don’t worry yeah. I’ll manage. Come on. Let’s do this,’ Louis said making sure to sound reassuring. Harry nodded.

‘Okay come on then Tomlinsons. Let’s go and meet the Sharmans,’ Harry said happily. Daisy, Phoebe and Lottie followed him happily.

‘Harry Sharman,’ Lottie said in a teasing voice. She slipped her arm through his as they walked towards the front door of the house.

‘I like it,’ Phoebe added nudging Harry who giggled happily.

‘I like Styles better,’ Daisy muttered. Harry chuckled.

‘Well I’ll still be using Styles professionally but yes I will be Harry Sharman soon. That will be my married name.’ Harry Sharman. Louis scrunched up his face at the name because it didn’t sound right. It didn’t sound like his Harry anymore. Correction, he’s not my Harry anymore but still, Harry was supposed to have the Tomlinson surname. That’s what they had decided in the early days when they had stayed up late into the night shared beds and dreamed of a future together were Harry would take Louis’ surname as his own.

Harry opened the front door and they all stepped inside a large hall with black and white tiles and a magnificent staircase that took you up to the second level of the house.

‘Dan,’ Harry called, his deep voice carrying and reverberating in the vast hall. Harry walked towards the left side of the house and Louis and his sisters followed. They entered a large living room with white couches, lots of glass and chrome and a big telly. Daniel turned to look at them. He was dressed in an immaculate royal blue suit and light blue shirt a beatific smile for Harry only.

‘Darling,’ he said as he walked towards Harry and kissed him gently, softly and Louis hated that Daniel was as tender and as careful with Harry as he himself had been. Not that he wanted Daniel to mistreat Harry or be rough with him but that softness and tenderness belonged to him and him only. Still Louis watched as Harry smiled into Daniel’s kiss.

‘Hi baby,’ Harry purred and Louis wanted to vomit. Harry pulled back and smiled at Daniel. ‘Dan these are Louis’ sisters Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe,’ Harry introduced. Daniel smiled at them.

‘Wow hello ladies. So gorgeous,’ he complimented them. The girls blushed and thanked him looking at him all bashful and fluttering eyelashes. Louis wanted to roll his eyes so badly but it was not the time nor the place. Daniel turned to Louis, giving him a big smile. ‘Lou so nice to see you again. Come on in and meet my family,’ Daniel said and Louis hated that he called him Lou. Who gave him permission to use that nickname on him? That was Harry’s nickname for him not…not Dan’s!! In spite of his discomfort, Louis allowed Daniel to lead him further into the room and no sooner was he in, Anne was on him hugging him tightly to her and God how Louis had missed her. Anne had been like a second mum to him. She had been there for him and his sisters when their mother and sister had passed away. Louis hugged her a little tighter finding some comfort in her arms.

‘Louis oh my God it’s so good to see you love. How are you?’ she asked as she pulled back and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

‘I’ve been good Anne. How are you? You look great,’ he told her. Anne kept looking at him with a fondness in her eyes that made Louis miss his mum so much at a time like this and realize how much he had missed Anne. In the back of his mind he always thought of Anne as mum because one day she would’ve become his mother in law and she had always made him feel like a second son to her but now it was Daniel who filled that spot of second son and she would become his mother in law and that didn’t sit well with Louis at all. He really did love Harry’s family and Anne had been there for him through the worst times of his life. He didn’t want to lose Harry’s family too. It was bad enough that he was losing Harry to Daniel. He couldn’t lose the rest of the Styles family too. That thought made the sense of loss inside him grow deeper. Daniel was taking them away from him too, making them his very own family through marriage.

‘I’m alright love. My baby is getting married. I can’t believe it,’ she said happily, her smile big and bright. Louis knew how much Anne loved both Harry and Gemma and the fact that one of her kids was getting married was a big deal to her. Moreover because Harry was her baby. He also wanted to tell her that he couldn’t believe it either that Harry was getting married to somebody that wasn’t him, but he couldn’t do that. Next to hug him was Gemma.

‘Lou,’ she whispered hugging him tightly, ‘how are you?’ Louis had always been close to Gemma and he wished he could tell her the truth. The moment she hugged him, he wanted to tell her that he wasn’t good, that his heart was breaking in his chest and he desperately wanted to tell her that he was in still love with Harry, that he had never stopped being in love with her baby brother. He wanted to drop the act with her but he knew that that wasn’t an option. Not when they were so happy that Harry was finally getting married to a good man.

‘I’m alright,’ Louis said as he rubbed her back up and down. She pulled back and looked up into his face, narrowing her eyes at him.

‘Are you really?’ she asked quietly scrutinizing his face for any sign that showed that he was lying. She had been there when he and her brother had been together and watched them fall in love but she had also been there when Louis had ended it with Harry. She had been there when Louis had been with Eleanor and she had been there to see the way he looked at her brother, close to him enough to notice the pain and longing in his eyes each time he looked at Harry. She had been there when Louis had become a dad. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that he and Harry had problems and she had tried to talk to him several times but Louis had always put up that damn front and never let anyone in behind the thick walls he had built around him. So she had just stepped back and let things unfold and take their natural course. And here they were, Harry about to be married to someone that was not Louis. Louis gave her a warm smile. He wasn’t going to let his mask slip off.

‘I am. Really. Harold’s getting hitched and I’m his best man why wouldn’t I be alright?’ Gemma smiled and slapped him playfully on his arm.

‘Well I’m a groom’s maid. Don’t know if that’s a thing but if my brother says it is, then I trust that it is.’

‘Harry knows best’ he said and then suddenly he was engulfed in another hug by a woman he did not know.

‘You must be Louis!’ she gushed in a thick British accent. ‘Harry has told us so much about you.’ She pulled back and looked at him, smiling happily. ‘I’m Daniel’s mother and soon to be Harry’s mother in law. Its such a pleasure to finally meet you love. Come and meet the rest of the family.’ She slipped her arm through Louis’ and guided him further into the living room where she introduced him to Daniel’s dad and siblings. They all gushed over him and spoke to him as if they knew him. What had Harry told them about him? How much had Harry told them about him? Surely not that they had been lovers and that he had been Harry’s first! No! That was a secret. He was Harry’s secret. So Louis smiled and shook hands and talked to them while Daniel and Harry, wrapped up in each other watched their families interact. And Louis was glad that Harry was too distracted giving Daniel heart eyes to see the pain that was ripping him in half. Again, Louis wished that his mother was here. She would know what to tell him to ease the pain and then together they would go and help someone in need.

Then Liam and Niall arrived and Louis let out a breath he felt he had been holding in since the moment Harry had delivered the bad news to him. After they were both introduced to Daniel’s family (and Louis noticed that they did not fuss over them as much as they had fussed over him) Liam and Niall walked over to him where he stood drinking his third vodka red bull by the fireplace.

‘Louis!’ Liam exclaimed cheerfully. ‘How are you? It’s so good to see you. It’s been a while hasn’t it?’ They hugged each other tightly and Louis was so glad for the familiarity of his friends that he nearly cried.

‘Yeah mate it has. How you’ve been? How’s Bear?’ Liam smiled brightly, his eyes shining at them mention of his son.

‘Oh he’s amazing but growing up so fast. I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like to though.’

‘Same.’ Louis muttered. ‘Can’t believe Freddie will be four next January.’

‘Four already?’ Niall said and whistled. ‘Where’s time going? And now our Haz is tying the knot and soon he will have his own little ones. I can’t believe it man. Our baby is all grown up ready to fly out of the nest.’ Louis’ gaze wandered over to Harry who was laughing with Daniel and their mums, Daniel’s arm wrapped around Harry’s waist keeping him tucked into his side, Anne and Daniel’s mum fussing over them. The mothers seemed to get along. Both families seemed to get along much to Louis’ chagrin.

‘I would never have imagined,’ Louis said under his breath letting his words trail off into nothing because he couldn’t express exactly what he was feeling, the longing, the pain, the regret the desperate need to turn back time and have another chance. Liam and Niall looked at Louis, his gaze soft and fond (and painful?) as he continued to fix Harry with a look that was heart breaking to look at. Liam and Niall looked at each other.

‘Louis,’ Liam said softly, his voice a little worried. 

‘Hmm?’ Louis replied his eyes still fixed on Harry with a dreamy gaze. Liam nudged him hard. Louis broke his gaze and turned to look at Liam. ‘What?’ he snapped. 

‘You were staring at Harry mate,’ Niall told him. ‘For a minute there I thought you were still in love with him with that glazed dreamy fond look you were giving him.’ Niall laughed loudly but Louis didn’t. His face remained serious, his eyes a little cloudy. Liam didn’t laugh either because Liam had recognized that look. He had seen it before many times in the past. Niall stopped laughing suddenly when he saw them both looking so serious. ‘What?’ Niall asked looked from one to the other.

‘Louis no,’ Liam told him firmly. Louis opened his mouth to reply but Liam beat him to it. ‘No!’ Liam cut him off again. ‘You can’t. Not now.’ Louis swallowed thickly and looked down into his drink. Niall kept looking from one to the other trying to understand their exchange. 

‘I can’t help the way I feel,’ Louis admitted softly. Liam huffed and looked at the ceiling. Niall, seeming to have suddenly grasped what was going on, caught up and looked at Louis with wide eyes.

‘Holy shit, you’re still in love with him?’ he asked trying to keep his voice low.

‘I never stopped,’ Louis admitted because if he couldn’t admit it to the two people that had shared their story with him and Harry, then to whom could he tell it to? His heart and soul needed a rest and he wanted to unburden. Liam rubbed a hand over his face.

‘Louis, you ended it with him. Remember you broke it off,’ he hissed. ‘You were the one who decided that you two should just be friends. So just don’t. Don’t do this to him now. Not when he’s happy and about to be married.’ 

‘I know,’ Louis said. ‘You think I don’t remember? You think I could ever forget that I broke his fucking heart and mine along with his?’ He could feel the anger burn and lick at the bottom of his stomach. He knew he shouldn’t take it out on Liam. None of this was his fault.

‘Then let it go,’ Liam told him. ‘He is finally over it. He’s finally over you Louis. He is happy come on look at him. He’s glowing. Don’t hurt him again.’ Louis turned angry eyes on Liam because he had no right to say that or even assume that Louis was out to hurt Harry again as if it was his life’s mission.

‘You make it sound as if I hurt him on purpose Li what the fuck?’ Liam took in a deep breath and exhaled as he took a gulp of his whiskey. Was there ever an end to Larry fucking Stylinson?

‘And it never occurred to you to tell him how you feel about him during these five years that we have been on hiatus?’ Louis looked at Liam like a kicked puppy, all the anger fizzing out of him.

‘What was I supposed to tell him? We had agreed….’

‘Yes YOU had agreed!’ Liam snapped at him. ‘You made the decision Louis. Harry had no choice in the matter.’

‘He agreed too,’ Louis protested.

‘Harry just went along with it just so you know,’ Niall told him. ‘He never wanted to be your friend Lou come on surely you knew that. You’re not that thick.’ Liam gave him a stern look.

‘Don’t you think that’s besides the point Niall? Harry agreed and you both decided to stay friends Louis and it worked….’

‘It didn’t though,’ Louis said, ‘I didn’t forget him or get over him.’

‘But he has!’ Liam gritted out. ‘He’s getting married for fuck’s sake Lou. Don’t fuck this up for him.’ Niall looked at Liam.

‘Harry’s not married yet though! There’s still time.’ Liam glared at him.

‘Niall, it’s too late. Harry has moved on. He’s happy with Daniel can’t you see that? Leave him be. Louis you’re a little too late now. Don’t mess this up for him. Please.’ Louis was going to reply but Niall beat him to it.

‘That’s not really sage advice mate,’ he told Liam. ‘You know how they were and if Louis still has feelings for him…’

‘But that’s just it innit?’ Liam interrupted him, ‘how they WERE as in the past. They ended it Niall.’ Niall scoffed.

‘You seem to have forgotten how it really was Li. They really didn’t end it did they?’ Niall pressed. ‘They kept saying that it was over and that they were friends but we all saw that they hadn’t. They remained together though apart. They tried to believe it themselves that they had ended and thought that they could be friends but that bond they had? It never broke did it? Even after Louis told him he was going to be a dad and Harry had that fucking melt down and there was the big fight and the long stretches of silence and tears. And even when Harry had agreed to be friends, their bond did not break Liam. They pushed it under the carpet and believed the lie they wove for themselves.’ They fell silent for a beat. Niall sighed and turned sympathetic eyes on Louis. ‘Louis mate why didn’t you talk to him before? He’s getting married in less than a fucking week.’ Louis shrugged.

‘I just never thought that he…,’ Louis paused. He took in a deep breath and exhaled shakily, puffing out his cheeks in obvious frustration. ‘It never once crossed my mind that he would move on from me, from us and find someone he would fall in love with enough to marry. I thought,’ he gulped and tried to fight back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. ‘I kinda always thought that we were it for each other you know? I thought he knew that. We were too young. Too much pressure put on us and I figured that we could be friends and maybe when the band was over,’ he stopped again and took a sip from his drink. ‘That we’d find our way back to each other. I never thought he would forget me. I was so accustomed to the idea of us, to our love that I…I don’t know. It never crossed my mind that he would find love in someone else. He…he never left my heart. He remained in my fucking heart.’ His voice broke a little and he swallowed thickly trying to gulp down his emotions.

‘Fuck sake,’ Liam whispered exasperated. Liam looked across the room and his eyes met Harry’s who was looking at them with a furrowed brow, a worried expression on his face and it was clear that he had been watching them for a while. Liam watched as Harry excused himself and walked over to them. He suddenly felt very nervous.

‘Hey,’ Harry said looking from one to the other with a suspicious look in his eyes. ‘Is everything alright? You all look so serious and like you are having an argument. What’s going on?’ Liam, Niall and Louis all looked at each other trying to come up with something to lie to Harry about. Louis and Niall looked at Liam and he knew it was down to him. He smiled at Harry.

‘It’s nothing Haz. We were just talking about Zayn,’ he lied and he hated himself for bringing up Zayn but what else could he say to justify their sombe expressions? Harry’s face went serious and Liam hated that they were taking away from his happiness. Harry chewed his lower lip then looked at Liam and Niall as if in apology.

‘I tired calling him but I think he changed his number. At least that’s what the automated voice told me, that the number I was trying to reach did not exist anymore.’ Liam shot Louis and Niall a death glare because this was not right. It was not right to make Harry unhappy when he was at his happiest. Niall clapped Harry on the back.

‘Don’t worry bout it mate. When it’s the right time to reconnect with him it will happen. Don’t stress about it. This is a happy time H. Seriously. Don’t think about it.’ Harry gave them each one last look, his eyes lingering on Louis who had been silent. He still wasn’t entirely convinced they had told him the truth but before he could prod them any further, Daniel came up behind him and wrapped his arm around his waist placing a kiss on Harry’s cheeks. Immediately Harry relaxed in his arms and he smiled.

‘Dinner is ready to be served. Shall we honey?’ Harry let his eyes linger a little longer on his friends then turned and smiled at Daniel so fondly it made Louis’ heart physically hurt.

‘Yes love,’ he said, placing a kiss on Daniel’s lips. He turned and let Daniel lead him into the dining room after their families. Liam turned on Louis.

‘I’m not going to fucking lie for you again. Keep it under wraps Louis. He’s happy. Let him go. If you truly love him, let him go. Let him have his happy ever after.’ With that, Liam turned and walked after the others. Louis swallowed thickly. Niall wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

‘You’ll be alright mate. Come on, let’s go and eat. It smells so good in here and I’m starving.’ They entered the dining room, Louis dragging his feet and his heart on the carpeted floor. If the living room was spectacular, the dining room out shone it. A long glass table ran down the length of the room decorated with fine china, crystal glasses and tumblers, silver cutlery, white peonies in crystal vases, glass chandeliers throwing soft light making everything sparkle, ivory candles in silver candle holders and white high backed chairs which were already filling up with guests. Daniel sat at the head of the table with Harry on his right. There was an empty chair next to Harry and before Louis had time to wonder who that place was reserved for, Daniel’s mother was ushering Louis towards that empty chair beside Harry and Louis wanted to dig his heels in the thick carpet and stubbornly refuse to sit next to Harry.

‘As Harry’s best man and best friend, you get the seat of honor next to the groom,’ she told him happily, a big smile on her face. Louis could not refuse. He sat down stiffly next to Harry because he wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for none of this! Everyone was seated round the table: Daniel and Harry, Gemma, Anne, Des and Michal, Daniel’s parents and two siblings, Liam, Niall, Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe. A handful of people closest to the grooms. Fourteen people who were happy that this couple were getting married and they were here to celebrate with them except Louis. Louis wasn’t celebrating this wedding. He was internally celebrating his demise. Louis felt apart from everyone. He felt by himself, removed from them all because he couldn’t possibly be happy for Harry and his happiness with another man.

‘Lou,’ Harry whispered in Louis’ ear his breath soft and warm on Louis’ skin, ‘are you alright?’ Louis shivered and turned his face to look at Harry. He was so close and he smelled so good and he looked so beautiful and if he just leaned in a little closer….

‘I’m good,’ Louis said, giving him a warm smile hoping it was sincere. Harry nodded not looking convinced. Fuck he was going to need a lot of alcohol to make it through this dinner. Wine flowed as easy as the conversation around the table which mostly featured the grooms and the upcoming wedding. Louis wanted to roll his eyes at everything but opted to downing wine and trying not to notice how Harry was occasionally looking at him or at Liam glaring at him from across the table where he sat next to Lottie. He wanted to drown out everyone’s voices and all the talk about flowers and cake and suits and honeymoon…honeymoon? And for fuck’s sake Louis hadn’t considered the damn honeymoon which was stupid because Harry and Daniel had slept together already for God knows how many times and just the thought of that made Louis want to bring up the contents of his stomach right on to the pristine lace tablecloth. Did Daniel choose this tablecloth or had Harry chosen it, he mused. Or maybe they had chosen it together for their future home. He downed another glass of wine. Louis looked around the table, at the faces all smiley and happy and excited and he felt lonelier than ever. 

‘So Louis,’ Daniel’s mother said and he had to fight a little through his fuzzy brain to concentrate on what she was saying, ‘since you are Harry’s best friend and best man and you’ve known him since he was basically a boy of sixteen, tell us about the Harry you know. Your version of him.’ Louis coughed a little because what? Should he tell them the PG version or the X Rated version of the Harry HE knows? He saw Liam glare at him harder and Niall bracing himself. Louis sighed and wrapped an arm around the back of Harry’s chair.

‘Well the boy I met ten years ago was very very different from the man sitting beside me today weren’t you H?’ he said softly turning his head to meet Harry’s eyes who were big and looking at him a little guarded. ‘Did he ever tell you that I was his guardian back then?’ Daniel’s mother smiled broadly.

‘Were you? No Harry didn’t say much about the early days while he was in the band.’ Louis scoffed but quickly hid it with a cough. Of course Harry didn’t talk about those days!

‘Yeah well Haz here was very homesick when they put us in bootcamp. He really missed his mother and sister so I kept him company. Then we went to live together in this amazing place called Princess Park. Didn’t we Haz?’ Louis asked him. Harry nodded.

‘You lived together?’ Daniel asked. ‘Just the two of you? But you were just 16!’ Louis nodded.

‘We did. I was eighteen at the time and Anne trusted Harry with me didn’t you Anne?’ Anne smiled, a small, confused smile.

‘Well Harry insisted that he wanted to live at Princess Park and Louis offered to take care of him, which he did of course,’ she said as she took a healthy gulp of her wine. 

‘We had a ball,’ Louis continued, ‘though I did get on his nerves a bit,’ he said letting his knuckles brush softly against Harry’s back where no one could see. He felt Harry stiffen. ‘See, I was very messy and Harry was so meticulously organized. He was very good at keeping house. He cooked and cleaned. He did an amazing job even though he was 16. We were very domestic.’ Daniel’s mother cooed. Daniel took Harry’s hand in his and kissed his knuckles.

‘He’s still very organized and keeps our homes tidy. Not that I’m messy. And he’s definitely an amazing cook.’ Louis wanted to barf. Good try Danny boy! Louis brushed Harry’s back again.

‘Then Harry here went and fell in love at just sixteen years old.’ The room went quiet. ‘Didn’t you H?’ Harry gave him a pleading look. Gemma coughed. Anne cleared her throat and downed more wine. Liam shifted in his seat. And Niall drained his beer. Daniel leaned forward on his elbows, smiling at Harry.

‘You fell in love at sixteen? You never told me about it,’ Daniel told him softly. Harry looked at Daniel and gave him a small nervous smile.

‘I wouldn’t say I fell in love. It was more of an infatuation but it wasn’t that important.’ Louis laughed.

‘Oh I beg to differ. I believe you called him the love of your life and your soul mate. I was there all the time. I saw it. I saw how you fell so hard. How that love changed you and how you grew into it. You were happy.’ Harry bit his lower lip hard.

‘Louis,’ Anne said softly, a warning in her voice.

‘Oh how sweet,’ Daniel’s mother gushed. ‘Who was it? Did they love you back?’ Harry gulped.

‘Yes they did love him back,’ Louis said. ‘A lot. Go on Hazza tell them,’ Louis urged him. ‘Tell them who you fell in love with.’ Harry began to fidget nervously with his rings.

‘I um…it… it was a long time ago and um like Louis said, I was just a little boy. It’s all in the past.’ Harry reached under the table and squeezed Louis’ knee hard as a warning. Louis jumped a little at the sudden contact and winced because Harry’s fingers were brutally digging into his flesh. Daniel looked from Harry to Louis then back at Harry who looked uncomfortable. He reached out and took his hand.

‘You don’t have to tell us sweetheart. I’m not interested in your past since we are not going that way. I’m interested in our future because that’s where we’re heading and it starts in a few days.’ He leaned closer to him and kissed him gently and softly and Harry sighed against his lips. Everyone around the table clapped except Louis who took another mouthful of wine. Daniel pulled back and gave Louis a hard glare. The tension around the table was palpable.

‘How about a song Harry?’ Daniel’s mother urged him. ‘He is such a good entertainer,’ she gushed to everyone around the table as if they didn’t already know what a good entertainer Harry was. \When we host dinners, Harry always sings. He’s got such a lovely voice.’ Harry smiled shyly.

‘Go on baby,’ Daniel encouraged him and Harry smiled at his fiancé` as he began tapping his fingers on the table, picking up a rhythm. Then he began singing softly, his voice deep and mellow.

‘The moment I wake up, before I put on my make up I say a little prayer for you,’ he sang looking shy and smiling at Daniel while Daniel preened under his lover’s attention. The others at the table all picked up the rhythm Harry was tapping on the table. Louis looked around the table with an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look because this wasn’t really happening was it? ‘While combing my hair now and wondering what clothes to wear now I say a little prayer for you.’ The rhythm around the table picked up, fingers snapping and shoes tapping while Harry continued to gaze lovingly at Daniel. ‘Forever forever you’ll stay in my heart and I will love you, forever and ever we will never part. Oh how I’ll love you. Together, together that’s how it must be to live without you would only be heartbreak for me.’ When he started the next part, Liam and Niall joined in with the harmonies , vocally backing Harry up liked they used to in the band and Louis looked at them his mouth slightly open because if they thought that he was going to join in serenading fucking Daniel, they were horribly mistaken. And when everyone at the table joined in the second chorus singing along with Harry, Louis downed a full glass of wine hoping it would erase this fuckery of a rom com nightmare that he was living in.

‘Forever forever you’ll stay in my heart and I will love you, forever and ever we will never part. Oh how I’ll love you. Together, together that’s how it must be to live without you would only be heartbreak for me,’ they all sang together with Harry and when they finally ended the bloody song, everyone clapped and cheered as Harry leaned in and kissed Daniel hard and deep.

‘I love you,’ Harry told to him somewhat a little forcefully as if he was making sure that Daniel knew it. ‘And I can’t wait to marry you and start our married life together. I love you so much.’ That was as much as Louis could bear. He pushed his chair back and stood up, breaking the romantic moment, all eyes going on him, including Harry’s.

‘I need a smoke,’ he announced to the room by way of explanation and walked out of the dining room into the lounge, through the entrance and to the front door. He pulled it open and stepped outside gulping the fresh air as if his lungs had been deprived of oxygen for a very long time. He wanted to get the fuck away from all of this…this charade, this comedy! He pulled out his packet of cigarettes and a lighter and quickly lit up one, inhaling deeply till his lungs filled up with smoke and they burned, then he exhaled a puff of white smoke into the night. His mind was fuzzy and he knew he had drunk way too much for this kind of social gathering. The truth of it was, he was sad. He was angry and frustrated and pissed off that Harry had found someone he loved and who loved him back and that he was getting married. Louis was angry that he had lost Harry, he was frustrated because he still loved him and had to watch him being in love and plan his wedding. He was mad at himself because it had taken Harry announcing his engagement to get him to admit to himself that his feelings for Harry were still there. Louis knew that he had never stopped loving Harry one bit and that he had been relaxed and safe in the knowledge that they would eventually end up together. He was pissed off that he had left it to fate to bring them together. But fate had fucked him big time and was probably having a laugh at his expense. Had Harry forgotten that they had promised they’d marry each other? This crazy shit wasn’t supposed to be happening. He wasn’t supposed to be here celebrating Harry’s soon to be nuptials and acting like he was the fucking best man because he wasn’t. He didn’t want to be his fucking best man. He wanted to be his husband. He wanted to be the one walking down the aisle and tying the knot with Harry! Louis stopped his train of thought right there because his thoughts were going like a freight train that was speeding out of control down a ricktey railway and he was going to crash and burn. His husband? Louis took in another drag. God yes he wanted Harry to be his husband but Harry had fucked off and fell in love with dickhead perfect Daniel and had forgotten about him and their promise. So yes, Louis was angry.

The door behind him opened softly and Louis held his breath. If it was Harry he was going to lose his resolve and tell him exactly how he felt and wedding be damned. He felt a soft hand on his arm squeezing lightly.

‘Lou,’ Gemma said softly. And Louis closed his eyes tightly shut because he didn’t have the will power to be strong for Gemma and hide his true feelings from her. He took another drag off his cigarette. Gemma looked at his profile. ‘I’m not going to ask if you are alright because clearly you aren’t. Are you going to tell me why?’ Louis internally scoffed. Was she serious? How was he supposed to tell her that he was still in love with her brother and wanted to break up his engagement?

‘I’m fine. I just needed a smoke,’ he lied. Partially. Gemma kept her eyes on him and Louis could feel her probing into his soul. Must be a Styles trait because Harry used to do that, probe his soul until his soul had no chance but to surrender to him.

‘You didn’t look alright in there,’ she pressed gently and God Louis wanted her to stop talking and stop pushing him towards the ledge that he was dangling precariously from. He shrugged.

‘Too many people,’ he said. Gemma pursed her lips. 

‘People never bothered you before,’ she stated. And fuck Louis wanted her to stop talking because he was precariously close to spilling the truth to her.

‘It got a little bit overwhelming. And I drank too much wine. And I needed to smoke and a little fresh air,’ he said.

‘Are you sure that’s all there is too it?’

‘Yeah Gem. That’s all. What else could there be?’ Gemma shrugged her shoulders.

‘Oh I don’t know. For a minute there I thought you were still in love with my brother and was finding it hard to deal with everything that’s going on in there.’ Louis choked on the smoke he had in his lungs. He coughed till tears streamed out of his eyes. Gemma tapped him on the back.

‘Easy there. I’ll see you back inside yeah. They’re serving up the food.’ She left and Louis knew he was fucked because Gemma knew. Or highly suspected. She was a perceptive one especially where Harry was concerned and they had spent a lot of time in the past together so she knew him well enough too.

‘Fuck,’ he hissed as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ground in front of Daniel’s front door. He didn’t feel guilty for littering his immaculate grounds. Not one bit. He took in a few deep breaths trying to let the oxygen clear his head and pushed open the door, letting himself back into the house praying he could find the strength to endure the remainder of this cursed dinner.

On the drive back home to Harry’s house, both of them were silent. Louis felt on edge. It felt like back in the day when the great big divide had settled between them too many times after some scolding from management, when Harry had felt too overwhelmed to even talk to him as if Louis hadn’t been going through it all too. They arrived at the house and Louis got out after Harry, walking a few steps behind him. Harry opened the door and walked into the kitchen, flipping on the lights. Louis opened his mouth to say goodnight but Harry turned around to face him and beat him to it. 

‘Wasn’t the food not to your liking?’ Harry asked him which caught Louis off guard. Louis looked at him his face showing nothing but confusion. Harry had his back to the counter, standing rigid, his face set in a grimace staring at Louis.

‘What?’ Louis asked.

‘The food,’ Harry said looking him straight in the eyes and it intimidated Louis when Harry looked at him with those green eyes. ‘Wasn’t the food good? Wasn’t it to your liking?’ 

‘Ugh yeah,’ Louis said clearly confused with this conversation. ‘It was pretty good.’ Harry kept his eyes on him and Louis was finding it hard not to squirm underneath his gaze.

‘Then why did you hardly touch it?’ Harry asked.

‘Haz I….’

‘Don’t Haz me Louis,’ he said a little sharply. ‘You played with your food and pushed each plate away after a few bites. You hardly ate anything. I watched you.’ Louis cleared his throat and looked back at Harry with the same intensity he was looking at him. Two can play this game and both of them were good players because they had played it before.

‘Why were you watching me?’ Louis asked him raising an eyebrow at him in challenge. Harry shifted from one foot to the other but kept his gaze still locked on him. Louis knew what a stubborn son of a bitch Harry was and how he had never backed down from an argument they ever had. Louis wondered if they were having an argument now.

‘You are our guest Louis. We make sure all our guests are alright and clearly you weren’t. Was something wrong with the food?’ Harry pressed. Louis wanted to laugh. He really really wanted to laugh in Harry’s face. Was Harry being serious? Was he really making a fuss over the fucking food?

‘The food was good Haz.’

‘Then why didn’t you eat?’

‘Are we really having this conversation? I’m tired.’ Harry took a step towards him and even though he seemed bigger than Louis remembered, Louis stood his ground.

‘Yes we are having this fucking conversation Lou. Why did you tell Daniel’s family about us?’ Louis blinked at him, a little offended by the question but sorted in derision. He hadn’t explicitly told them about them!

‘So this is what’s it about then huh? Not the food,’ Louis told him. Harry glared at him.

‘I want to know why you told them,’ he said, his voice hard. Louis glared back and pointed his index finger at Harry.

‘Why didn’t YOU tell them about US Harry?’ Louis asked back.

‘Because there is nothing to tell,’ Harry replied. ‘We were kids. It happened. End of.’ Those words pained Louis to the core but he shrugged, hiding his pain well.

‘Okay then why are you so pissed off about it then hmm?’ Harry huffed.

‘Because my past is my past. I want it to stay there. I love Daniel Louis.’ Louis felt anger rise in him because Harry was being a right dick.

‘I know that. You’ve made it very clear to everyone how in love you are. I get it Harry. You love him. Do you think I’m out to fucking sabotage your happy fairy tale?’ Louis spat at him angrily. Harry stared at him. He folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow.

‘Are you?’ he asked. Louis shook his head and chuckled bitterly.

‘Get off your fucking high horse Haz. I’ve been over you way before you were over me.’ Harry laughed.

‘You were the one who left me Louis. You took the fucking moral high ground and left me so if you are over me as you say, why are you still single? Why haven’t you had anyone after me?’ That hurt too much but Louis wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that pain. How could he tell him that nobody compared to him? That he had ruined it for others in Louis’ book? How could he tell him that he had held him in his heart for all this time and that was the reason why he had never let anyone in his heart after him? Louis looked at him. Really looked at him. Yes, Harry had changed as far as looks went but to Louis he was still that sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty year old boy that Louis had watched grow from boy to man. He was still the same boy that had loved Louis and whom Louis had loved back. Clearly their parting still pained Harry at some point. Louis pinned him down with a stare.

‘You do know that not everything is about you right Harry? The world may revolve around you but my world does not.’ Louis told him and he was so glad that his voice held strong because he was seriously breaking on the inside. ‘You told me to mind my own business when it came to your relationship and I’m going to ask you the same. My love life is my business and it shouldn’t be your concern since you are so in love and soon to be happily married. Good night,’ Louis told him. He turned his back on Harry and walked up to his room, closing the door behind him. Fuck, this was bad. Gemma suspected he still had feelings for Harry. Liam and Niall knew. Did Harry suspect anything? Louis knew that Harry was no fool and the fact that he had brought up their breakup meant he still held a little or maybe a lot of resentment towards Louis. He had to call Eleanor. He took out his phone and tapped on her name. After a few rings, Eleanor picked up.

‘El, I’m in deep shit,’ Louis told her before he spilled all that had happened since he had arrived in L.A up until the conversation (or was it an argument?) he just had with Harry in the kitchen. Eleanor stayed quiet and listened to him as he told her everything. ‘What am I going to do?’ Louis pleaded when he was done. He knew he sounded desperate but he didn’t care. Desperate times called for desperate measure and all that.

‘Lou you have to tell him,’ Eleanor said. Louis shook his head.

‘El I can’t. He loves Daniel. He’s happy. I can’t take it all away from him. He already accused me of trying to sabotage his happiness. He doesn’t feel that way about me anymore. He fucking resents me.’

‘He doesn’t resent you Lou stop being daft. Since he brought it up, there is a chance he might still have feelings for you since well he’s clearly still pissed about it. You were each other’s first love. You will never know unless you tell him. If he is in love with Daniel then your confession will not alter his feelings for him but at least you will know where you stand and know that you don’t stand a chance with him. Because if there is the slightest chance that….’

‘There isn’t El. He’s in love with Daniel that’s it. He’s over me. I just want this fucking wedding to be over with so I can come back home and start mending myself.’

‘I still think you should talk to him. But you’ll be fine. Just stay strong until the wedding.’

‘How am I supposed to stand there and see him marry another man El?’ he said softly, his voice a mere whisper. Eleanor made a sympathetic sound.

‘Why don’t I fly out and be with you Lou? You’re going to need someone to help you through this,’ Eleanor told him.

‘Would you do that for me?’ he asked her. Eleanor scoffed.

‘Of course I would. I’ll book the first flight out of here. I’ll see you soon yeah. Until then, stay strong.’

‘Thank you El. See you soon.’ Louis hung up and sat down on the bed feeling dejected and resigned. There was nothing he could do. This was the situation he was in and he couldn’t really spoil it for Harry now that he had found love and was happy. 

The next morning when Louis woke up and went downstairs, he found Harry sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. When he entered, Harry looked up and gave him a small smile which Louis returned. He hated that things were awkward between them. There was tension and both of them could feel it.

‘Tea?’ Harry asked him. His voice was soft and gentle, yesterday’s attitude was nowhere to be seen. Louis nodded and sat down in the chair opposite Harry. Last night before he had fallen asleep, he had decided to stuff his feelings away, lock them up and concentrate on being Harry’s friend and best man. Harry placed a mug of tea in front of him and sat down again. He took a sip from his own mug then looked up at Louis.

‘About last night,’ he said softly.

‘Really Haz, you don’t need to….’

‘I need to,’ Harry cut him off. ‘I was out of line. I said things I shouldn’t have said. I’m sorry Lou.’ Louis gave him a what he hoped was genuine and sincere smile.

‘There’s nothing to be sorry for H. I said things too. The reason I was a bit weird up last night was because I was so overwhelmed. News of you getting married. Meeting your family again. Meeting Daniel’s family and having to be your best best man. I was just nervous and sick to my stomach that I might disappoint you or Daniel’s family or your family. You know how much they mean to me. And I drank too much wine to help calm myself. That’s all it was Harry. And I am sorry if I stepped out of line. I understand why you don’t want to talk about the past.’ Louis lied so smoothly. He watched Harry’s face as Harry watched him. Louis knew he was trying to figure out if Louis was lying or not. Then Harry was out of his chair and hugging Louis tightly to him.

‘You’re amazing. I am so sorry I was such an asshole to you. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking saying all that shit to you. I’m nervous too Lou and I freaked out when you mentioned our past….’

‘I’m sorry I did that. They were talking about past loves and I got carried away. I shouldn’t have. Like you said, its in the past. We were young and it was nothing. It’s in the past.’ Harry pulled back and looked at him, his eyes so green in the morning light spilling in from the window.

‘Thank you Lou.’ Harry sat back down in his chair.

‘You’re welcome H,’ Louis said softly and a little disappointed that Harry had agreed so easily that their relationship was now labelled as “nothing.”. ‘Oh by the way. El is flying in later today. I hope you don’t mind….’

‘Eleanor? Are you still seeing her?’ Harry asked him a little shocked. Louis rolled his eyes and smiled at him but deep down he was a little chuffed that Eleanor still managed to crawl under Harry’s skin.

‘You do recall that she was my beard right? Out of all the beards they stuck on me, she’s the only one I formed a friendship with through it all and we remained friends. She’s a very good friend of mine and our dogs are besties so.’ Harry looked down.

‘I recall she was a bit more to you back then,’ he said quietly and Louis wanted to pull out a pair of pom poms and cheer that Harry was still bringing up their past even though it was to no avail but Louis was a glutton for punishment and he loved talking with Harry about their days together.

‘H, you know she was never more than a beard and a friend,’ Louis said. ‘They knew I was gay. Us…’ he paused and swallowed thickly, ‘it just wasn’t the right time for us.’ He wanted to fall to his knees in front of Harry and tell him that now was the right time for them, that he shouldn’t marry Daniel but Louis realized that now was not the right time for them either. Not when Harry was getting married in a few days.

‘I know,’ Harry said quietly, ‘I’m sorry.’ Louis wanted so much to think that Harry was feeling bad that they had ended but it wasn’t so. He was just melancholic, remembering and talking about the good old days. ‘She can come to the wedding as your guest Lou. Where is she staying?’ he said changing the subject.

‘At the same hotel where my sisters are staying. They will be happy to see her. She’s kinda been there for them since you know mum and Fizz.’ 

‘That’s yeah that’s great of her,’ Harry said, his voice flat and Louis wondered why he sounded so unemotional all of a sudden. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, neither one of them knowing what to say but knowing fully well that the dynamic between them had somehow shifted. Neither were ready to take responsibility for that shift, whatever that shift was.

X

The night of the stag party was a night Louis was dreading. And here it was! It had arrived sooner than he’d hoped it would which meant Harry’s wedding was only a few days away. Things between them had somewhat returned to as normal as they possibly could but somehow Louis could feel that a wedge had come between them and he was the one to blame for it. Harry was as happy and as excited as ever, carrying on with the final wedding preparations. Daniel had stayed over at Harry’s house on more occasions and Louis felt as if Harry had asked him to stay because of the awkwardness between them (and to not find himself alone with Louis) thus making it impossible for Louis to find some alone time with Harry to make things right with him before the wedding. 

They set out for Coyote Ugly after ten. Daniel had rented out the bar for the private function of their joint stag night. Louis, Harry and Daniel arrived together and when they got there, the bar was already crowded with guests. Daniel had gone all out and invited all the people they knew, people from the industry and both their managers so the place was full. Their wedding was going to be a small affair with the people closest to them but their stag night was meant to be a big do. Coyote Ugly was a renowned gay bar in L.A, with strapping, shirtless, muscled, oiled gay dancers that danced on the bar and karaoke. And Daniel being Daniel Sharman wanted the best for his fiancé` so he rented out the bar for a few hours. He had rented extra security as he didn’t want any paps or fans at the venue. 

They entered, Louis allowing Daniel and Harry to go in first, after all it was their night, their last night as single men much to Louis’ chagrin and they were greeted by cheers and hugs and drinks from friends, relatives, employers and employees all congratulating them. Somebody came up with the bright idea of putting a tiara and veil on Harry’s head and a sash on him that read “Groom” which Harry paraded around in looking all happy and proud and blushing. Louis walked to the bar where Liam and Niall were drinking as two shirtless guys in leather pants and cowboy boots danced on the bar, stomping their boots and sashaying their hips seductively in time to the rhythm of the loud thumping music.

‘Hey lads,’ Louis greeted them putting on his best smile to go with his best man duties.

‘Hey mate,’ Niall greeted him back giving him a slap on the back. ‘Ace party innit? You’ve done an excellent job as best man.’ Louis shrugged.

‘It was all Daniel’s idea. I just tagged along.’ Liam gave him a sympathetic look which Louis hated. He didn’t want or need anyone’s pity.

‘What’re you having?’ Liam asked him as he waved the bar man over. 

‘Vodka,’ Louis said. 

‘Let’s not let you get thoroughly wasted tonight alright. You are the best man Lou,’ Liam told him ever the voice of reason and sanity. Louis huffed.

‘Actually Li I do want to get thoroughly drunk and stay drunk till after the wedding and wake up at home in my own bed with a hangover that will last me for days,’ he said glumly. He took the offered drink and downed it in one go. He looked around looking for Eleanor but saw Harry instead still wearing that damn tiara and veil looking every inch the blushing happy bride. Pity he wasn’t a virgin on his wedding night! Louis smirked at himself. Harry’s virginity was something that belonged to Louis and that Daniel would never have. Louis felt a sense of satisfaction at the thought that he had been Harry’s first and had deprived Harry’s future husband of it! Little blessings to ease the pain in his heart.

‘Mate,’ Niall called out to him. Louis tore his eyes away from Harry just as Daniel swooped in to take him in his arm, dip him and kiss him just like in a romantic movie. Picture bloody perfect. Louis wanted to throw his empty glass across a wall.

‘What?’ Louis asked him as he signaled the bar tender over and ordered another round of drinks.

‘How are you holding up?’ Niall asked him. Louis shrugged.

‘Peachy. Why wouldn’t I be peachy watching the man I love getting married to someone else who happens to be so great for him and loves him as much as I do and takes good care of him as much as I did and treats him way better than I ever treated him? Why wouldn’t I be peachy Niall?’ He lifted his drink towards Niall. ‘I’m happy. Cheers.’ He downed his drink again.

‘I think you need to slow down,’ Liam told him. ‘Remember you are the best man and you can’t make a scene.’

‘How can I forget that I’m the fucking best man Li? How can I? What a cruel joke of fate!’ Louis spat bitterly. ‘Karma really got me for what I did to him hasn’t it?’ Just then Eleanor came over and hugged Louis tightly.

‘There’s the best man!’ she said. ‘And my best friend!’

‘Are you drunk?’ Louis asked her.

‘Hello Liam. Hello Niall. And no Louis I am not drunk but steadily getting there. How are you baby?’ she asked him.

‘I’m fine,’ Louis mumbled as he watched Liam and Niall hug her. Eleanor eyed him up.

‘You’ll be alright baby. Nobody has ever died of a broken heart. The heart is a resilient muscle.’ She tapped Louis on his chest right where his heart was steadily thumping. ‘You’ll survive this. And I’ll be with you every step of the way to help you heal.’ Louis gave Eleanor a smile then placed a kiss on her cheek.

‘Thank you El. I need all your strength and positivity right now.’ Eleanor placed a hand on her heart.

‘And I’ll give you all I’ve got if it means easing your pain.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘I got you Lou.’ And so the evening progressed much in the same fashion; lots of drinking, lots of kissing and PDA from Daniel and Harry, Daniel and Harry introducing him to more people that Louis didn’t know or care to know or would ever remember, dancing, more topless guys dancing on the bar top and Louis trying to hold himself together through it all because as the best man, he could not afford to fall apart and cause a scene. Then the bar tender announced karaoke! And everyone screamed and agreed with him. However, karaoke turned into a spontaneous mini One Direction reunion concert. Suddenly all four of them were being rushed to a small stage to the side of the bar and although Louis protested at first, he soon gave in to Harry’s pouty lips and puppy eyes when he begged him to please please let’s do this and how the fuck could Louis say no to that face? He would do anything for Harry. Anything! So here they were, belting out their greatest hits one after the other with everyone cheering and screaming at them and Louis felt happy because it was like deja`vu back to when they were still a band and performed together. Back to when Harry was his.

They sang and performed and it was so easy to fall back into old habits, like Louis and Harry singing to each other, orbiting around each other, mirroring each other. Some things even though life had changed and time had passed by, they never actually went away. It was like a habit that was hard to break. Louis took the liberty of occasionally touching Harry every chance he got just like in the old days because this was the last time he was going to get the opportunity to be this close to Harry or relive their time together and Harry didn’t seem to mind that Louis was being affectionate with him. In fact, Harry seemed to relish in the memories of days gone by when he and Louis had been in love and touring the world. He looked at Louis when they sang “You and I” and he sang to Louis again like he had done in the past and Louis saw that sixteen year old boy who had turned seventeen and eighteen and nineteen and twenty, now 26 and about to be married, sing to him like he had always done with that same intensity and Louis wanted to cry for what he had done and what he had lost. They had shared so much and now Harry was going to marry someone else and Louis was going to lose him. 

When they finished their mini concert, they got off the stage and had shots waiting for them. Louis downed two then excused himself and went to the bathroom. He needed a breather from all the emotions going on inside of him and outside of him, either of which he couldn’t control or do anything about. He pushed open the bathroom door and was thankful that it was empty. When the door closed behind him, he relished in the silence that greeted him. His head was fuzzy from all the drinks he had drunk so far and he knew that if he kept on drinking he was going to get horribly horribly wasted. The door opened and loud music broke his shield of silence momentarily before it closed and silence ensued again.

‘Are you alright Lou?’ Harry asked him concerned as he stood there with his tiara askew, green eyes shining, cheeks flushed and a silly grin on his face. Louis looked at him and realized that he could not lose him. He loved him and he didn’t want to lose him. Harry took a step closer to him, a look of worry on his face.

‘Are you going to be sick?’ Harry asked him. ‘Do you want me to get you some water?’ Louis cleared his throat and blinked his heavy lidded eyes.

‘No..I ugh I’m fine Haz,’ he said. Harry gave him a soft smile.

‘That was lovely out there wasn’t it? Just like the good old days when we were still One Direction.’

‘Yeah,’ Louis said hoarsely. His heart pounding in his chest because they were alone and so close and his brain was so fuzzy and his heart was beating for Harry and Harry only. He swayed a little on his feet and Harry’s hands shot out to steady him. Louis gulped because Harry’s touch on his biceps burned his skin yet it was soft and steady and oh so familiar. Harry removed his hands when he saw that Louis was steady on his feet.

‘Sometimes I miss those days,’ Harry said quietly, a hint of longing and nostalgia in his voice.

‘You do?’ Louis asked him. Harry looked into his eyes, his own eyes soft and fond.

‘Of course I do Lou! How can I not? I’ve had some of my best days back then. It’s not something I can ever forget,’ he said, his voice low and deep and Louis’ heart began to beat faster. He had to tell him! He had to let him know how he felt. He just couldn’t let Harry get married without knowing that Louis loved him.

‘Same,’ Louis said as he took a step closer to Harry. ‘Those were the best days of my life H. Best days with you…’ He let the words slip out and hang between them just to see Harry’s reaction. Harry smiled that shy little smile of his that Louis remembered so well and bit down gently on his bottom lip. 

‘Yeah,’ he whispered and Louis just couldn’t help himself. He closed the last bit of distance between them, placed his hand behind Harry’s neck and pulled him down to him. He kissed him deeply and hungrily, thrusting his tongue into Harry’s mouth, tasting him and trying to let Harry know how he felt through his kiss. At first Harry was too shocked to do anything but when it registered to him what Louis was doing, he pulled back breaking the kiss and looked at Louis in shocked horror, his eyes wide, lips parted and wet. Harry wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘Lou what the fuck?’ he said. ‘What the fuck? I’m engaged! I’m going to be married in a few days. Why the fuck did you kiss me? You made me cheat on Daniel! How could you?’

‘Harry I…I…’ Louis said panic overtaking his alcohol haze.

‘Shut up!’ Harry said angrily, his eyes filling with tears. He stepped back away from Louis. ‘You had no right to do that Louis! You just had no fucking right to kiss me when I’m not yours!’ He pulled the tiara out of his hair, slammed it down on the counter where it snapped in half and stormed out of the bathroom leaving Louis standing there stunned at what he had done, Harry’s tearful accusations echoing in the now empty bathroom. Louis rubbed his face with both his hands. Didn’t Harry say he missed him too? Didn’t Harry give him that look? Or had he misread the signs?

‘What the fuck have I done?’ he told himself feeling the guilt of the weight of Harry’s words press down on him. He looked at the broken tiara on the sink. ‘What the fuck have I just done?’ He rushed out of the bathroom with the intent of apologizing to Harry but when he went out back to the bar, Harry was kissing Daniel fervently and holding him tightly as if his life depended on it, whispering I love you’s between kisses pressed into Daniel’s lips, the tears rolling down on his cheeks. Louis knew that Harry was trying to make up for the guilt he was feeling for having kissed Louis but Harry hadn’t kissed him back. Harry had NOT kissed him back! Louis had no choice but to walk over to the couple because Liam, Niall, Eleanor and Gemma were with them. They all looked at him and from the looks on their faces he could tell that his sin was written all over his face and that they could probably smell his guilt like a whiff of something rotten permeating the air. Daniel was softly cooing at Harry, kissing him and wiping away his tears with his thumbs.

‘Alright Lou?’ Gemma asked him, looking at him suspiciously.

‘Yeah,’ he said just as Daniel broke their kiss and cupped Harry’s face in his hands. 

‘Hey sweetheart are you alright?’ Daniel asked him wiping away more of his tears as Harry pressed himself to Daniel not wanting any distance between them. ‘You need some water? Or fresh air?’ Louis watched as Daniel fussed lovingly over Harry and Harry ignored Louis but smiled lovingly at Daniel, clinging to him pulling him closer. Harry was good at ignoring him. He had perfected the art!

‘I love you,’ Harry told Daniel emphasizing on the words and sniffing on his tears. ‘I really really love you. You know that right? You know that I love you a lot yeah?’ And it pained Louis to hear Harry say those words, not just because he was in love with him but because Harry was making up for kissing Louis. But Harry hadn’t kissed him back’ Didn’t he know that? Louis wanted to tell him that he had nothing to feel guilty about but he knew Harry. He knew him well enough to know that he was going to beat himself over this and blame himself for what Louis had done. Its what Harry did. Blamed himself for other people’s mistakes and wrong doings. Louis knew it. Daniel smiled at Harry.

‘I do know you love me sweetheart. I know. That’s why we’re getting married because we love each other. Don’t cry honey and please stop drinking.’ Daniel kissed him again, hugged him tightly and laughed. ‘You’re gonna get wasted my darling.’ He rubbed Harry’s back up and down. Harry buried his face in Daniel’s neck clinging to him and never once looked at Louis again for the remainder of the night. When it was time to go, Louis wondered what was going to happen because he and Harry had to leave together since they were staying at the same house. Daniel was shaking hands with everyone and thanking everybody for a lovely stag night. Then he turned to Louis, his face open, his smile sincere and happy.

‘Thank you for helping me plan this night. It’s been amazing and Harry has enjoyed it a lot. You are truly his best friend Lou and I am so glad he chose you as his best man.’ He squeezed Louis’ hand then let go and hugged him tightly and Louis felt like shit because Daniel was a good man and he loved Harry and here he was trying to sabotage their wedding because he was a selfish asshole. Daniel pulled back from the hug and squeezed his shoulder. ‘Go. Harry is already waiting in the car and he’s knackered. He’ll probably have a massive hang over in the morning so do take care of him. I’ll see you at the wedding.’ Louis internally scoffed. As if he had never seen Harry with a hangover before or taken care of him through one!

‘I will,’ Louis said. He said goodbye to his friends and walked outside to the waiting car. He got in and Harry was sitting as far away from him as the car allowed, his face turned away from him looking out of the window. He didn’t seem horribly drunk to Louis. He had seen him drunk before and this wasn’t a very drunk Harry. Louis wanted to reach out to him but he didn’t dare.

When they reached the house, Harry thanked the driver and was out of the car and heading for his front door without waiting for Louis. When Louis reached him, he was already inside heading for the stairs.

‘Harry wait,’ Louis called out to him just as Harry stopped in his tracks and turned to face him, his face angry. Louis stopped in his tracks too.

‘What do you want Louis?’ Harry growled at him. ‘What could you possibly want now?’ Louis gulped. Harry was mad at him. Harry was angry. Angry Harry was never a good idea.

‘I just um I….’

‘What Louis? You just want to fuck up my life some more huh?’ Harry yelled. ‘Is that what you want? To fuck up my life? Haven’t you fucked up my life enough times by now? Must you keep on fucking it up?’ Louis was taken aback by Harry’s harsh angry words.

‘No. No of course not. I wanted to apologize for what I did. I had no right….’

‘No you fucking did not but when did you ever give a shit about anything that wasn’t you hmm? You never gave a shit about what I think or feel or want!’ His voice was booming round the living room and Louis felt in his heart that this was more than about a simple drunken kiss in a bar bathroom.

‘Haz that’s not true,’ Louis said in a pleading voice. Harry took a step towards him.

‘Isn’t it? It’s always been about you Louis. It’s always been about what you want, about how you want it and when you want it. It was never about me or my needs or wants. And now that I found my happiness you want to take it away from me.’ 

‘No Harry I don’t want to take your happiness away from you. I just…I got carried away.’ Harry snorted.

‘You got carried away,’ he repeated his voice flat. ‘You made me cheat on the love of my life,’ he growled out. Louis felt the pain of those words twist his already broken heart because once upon a time, in a tour bus somewhere around the world squashed together in a bunk bed in the middle of the night, Harry had whispered to him that he was the love of his life!

‘You didn’t kiss me back,’ Louis told him softly. ‘You didn’t cheat alright. I’m the asshole here who kissed you. You didn’t cheat on Daniel so relax Harry. I take full blame for the whole incident alright.’ Harry narrowed his eyes at him, giving him that look that Louis knew so well, the one where he was reaching into him and grabbing his soul by the neck and squeezing his large hand around it, choking it.

‘Why did you kiss me?’ Harry asked him. The question threw Louis off. They were just having a fight and suddenly Harry calmed down and asked why he had kissed him. Louis opened his mouth then closed it, his eyes wide on Harry who was expecting an answer from him. What was Louis supposed to tell him? Might as well tell him the truth. He had nothing left to lose. Harry loved Daniel. Louis had already lost everything. He took in a deep breath, held it for a second then exhaled, his shoulders sagging in surrender.

‘I love you,’ he whispered and saw Harry’s eyes go wide and heard his sharp intake of breath. Louis ploughed on. ‘I’m still in love with you. I never stopped Harry. I never wanted to end it with you.’ Louis sagged further in on himself. ‘I love you Haz.’ Even though he had just unburdened the weight he had been carrying around, it still felt heavy. He felt no relief. Harry just looked at him with those big green eyes of his and Louis could not read his expression. Then Harry nodded and stood up straighter.

‘I fucking hate you,’ Harry said. ‘You always do this to me. You always hurt me and take every ounce of happiness away from me and I fucking hate you so much. You break my heart time after time after time, again and again and leave me in pieces. Yet you always come back and find some more of me to break.’ Harry chuckled. ‘You’re an expert at breaking me. You’re selfish Louis. You’re so fucking selfish. But this doesn’t change anything,’ he said in a voice devoid of all emotion that made Louis crumble on the inside and shiver. ‘I am still marrying Daniel. I love him and your confession does not change my feelings for him in any way. Can’t you see that I’m happy? Why can’t you accept that? I moved on from you. I lost all my feelings for you and I am happy. He loves me and puts me first. He’s considerate of my feelings and takes care of my heart. Something you never fucking did.’ Harry paused his eyes never leaving Louis. ‘You should stay in a hotel for the remaining days until the wedding and if you don’t want to be my best man anymore, I understand. I can find a replacement.’ Harry turned his back on Louis and walked away, leaving Louis a broken mess. Louis waited until he heard Harry’s bedroom door close softly then he went upstairs. He sat on the bed heavily and he let the tears come. He had lost Harry. Harry’s words echoed round in his head: “you’re selfish”, “I hate you”, “doesn’t change anything”, “still marrying Daniel”, “does not change my feelings for him”, “I’m happy why can’t you accept that”, “I lost all my feelings for you”, “stay in a hotel” and “I can find a replacement.” They hurt. Those words hurt so bad. They hurt because they were the truth. Louis had hurt him and pain changes people. The pain he had put Harry through, had changed him and he had moved on. He curled up on the bed without even taking his clothes off and succumbed to the pain of a crushed heart.

The next morning, Louis woke up to a throbbing head, a painful heart but a steadfast resolute to make things right with Harry. He headed to the shower and washed himself. When he was done, he felt much better, his mind no longer foggy but clear and his actions from last night were sharper in focus now that he was completely sober. He had acted foolishly but he would make things right. He packed all his things and when he was done, he called for a taxi then went downstairs hoping that he wouldn’t meet Harry. 

Harry wasn’t downstairs. For all Louis knew the house was empty. There was no sound at all. It was after ten in the morning so he figured that Harry was still sleeping off his hangover. He placed his bag down and grabbed Harry’s notepad and pen that he always left by the fridge to jot down groceries.

Harry,  
I cannot say enough I’m sorries to convey to you how deeply sorry I am for what I did last night. My intention was never to take away your happiness. In fact, I want nothing more than your happiness. It’s what I’ve always wanted for you and I can see that Daniel is your happiness. You’re right. I am selfish and you have every right to help me. As your best friend, I still wish to be your best man and be with you on your most special and happy day if you’ll have me. I understand if you replace me but it would honestly be an honor for me to be there with you and your family to see you be married to the love of your life. Please forgive me for stepping out of line and just know that I never ever meant to hurt you, not now and not before. Ever Harry, please believe that. However, I will not apologize for letting you know how I feel about you. I will not regret that. You’re the habit that I can’t break. See you on your wedding day.  
Louis xxx

He left the note by the coffee maker knowing that as soon as Harry woke up, the first thing he did was make coffee. He picked up his bag and stepped out into the warm morning sunshine just as the taxi pulled up at the gate. Louis got in and gave the driver the name of the hotel he wanted to go to. Louis never looked back at house. If he had, he would’ve seen Harry in the upstairs window watching him leave.

When Louis got to the hotel, he texted Eleanor and after ten minutes, she was in his room wrapped in a hotel bathrobe looking hung over and disheveled.

‘What the hell happened? What did you do Louis?’ she asked him the moment he opened the door. She flopped down on the couch pulling her legs up under her and rubbing her tired eyes. Louis sat down opposite her looking rather fresh unlike Eleanor who looked like a racoon with black makeup smudged round her tired eyes.

‘I kissed him last night,’ he said softly. Eleanor’s eyes flew wide open.

‘You did what? Are you insane?’ Louis ran a hand through his hair.

‘I just...we were in the bathroom and we were caught up in the moment and we had just performed and it brought back so many memories and I yeah I went weak and I kissed him.’ Eleanor put her legs down and sat up straighter.

‘First of all, you did not perform Louis. You did karaoke. Second of all, what the fuck were you thinking kissing him? And thirdly, what did he do? What did he say? How did he react? Did I spend a fortune on a wedding dress for nothing?’ Louis sighed heavily.

‘I don’t know what I was thinking El alright. I just wasn’t thinking at all that’s the thing. I let my feelings get the best of me.’ He stopped and looked down. ‘He didn’t take it too well. When we went home we had a row and I told him how I felt about him and he got so mad at me. But now I know that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. He’s still planning on marrying Daniel and he told me to stay at a hotel and that I was free to not be his best man if I chose not to.’ Eleanor got up off the couch and sat down beside him. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him to her.

‘I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. The way you went about it wasn’t right but at least now you know where you stand with him and after the wedding we will go back home and you can start moving on.’ Louis looked at her and his eyes began to well with tears.

‘Is there any moving on from him? I lost him El,’ he said in a choked up voice. ‘He’s getting married. Harry, my Harry is getting married and I lost him for good.’ He began to cry softly as he burrowed into Eleanor. She held him tightly and let him cry it out.

The day of the wedding arrived and Louis was dead set on being Harry’s best man and best friend even though he was dying inside. He was going to be mature about it and be there for Harry on his special day. As he put on his suit that had arrived the day before, he refused to think about what he and Harry had had. That was in the past. Harry was marrying Daniel and whether he wanted to or not, he had no choice but to accept it. A knock on the door pulled him out of his sad thoughts. He turned away from the mirror and opened the door. He found Eleanor and Lottie dressed up in their dresses, hair and makeup all done up to the nines. Louis had told Lottie, Liam and Niall what had happened with Harry. Liam had given him a lecture on how foolish that had been of him, Niall had hugged him and told him he was sorry and Lottie had just hugged him tightly and told him that she was going to be there for him. Louis didn’t feel any better.

‘Are you done?’ Eleanor asked. ‘You look very handsome.’

‘Almost,’ Louis told her as he went back to the mirror to fix his hair.

‘How are you?’ Lottie asked him. Louis smiled at her through the mirror.

‘I’m alright love. I’ll survive.’

‘Has he contacted you since the stag night?’ Eleanor asked him.

‘No,’ Louis replied. ‘He has nothing to say to me El. He said all that he had to say. Come on let’s go. I have to be there before the guests start to arrive so I can help guide everyone to their seats and make sure everything runs smoothly today. His day has to be perfect.’ Lottie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him.

‘You are so brave doing this. You could’ve easily refused to be his best man or even attend his wedding yet here you are. You are strong and so brave,’ she told him. Louis hugged her back and swallowed the lump that was stuck in his throat because he didn’t feel brave at all. He felt weak and scared.

‘I owe it to him Lot. I don’t want to let him down on his wedding day. I let him down quite a few times already and what kind of best friend would I be if I wasn’t there with him on this day?’ Eleanor squeezed his shoulder.

‘You’ll be alright Lou. You’ll be alright.’

They were the first to arrive at the venue, a hotel in Malibu with a garden that ran down to the beach. Harry wanted to get married by the ocean at sun set. The sky was a lovely pink and orange and lilac shade, the sound of the waves rolling to the shore soothing. A makeshift parquet floor had been put down on the sand and there were chairs in neat rows and an arch at the front where the wedding would be performed. In the hotel’s garden by the pool there were tables and chairs decorated for the wedding reception after the ceremony. Soon the guests started to arrive and Louis greeted them with a smile, shaking their hands and welcoming them to Daniel and Harry’s wedding, making sure everyone knew where to be seated. As the time closed near to the allocated hour of the wedding, Daniel and his family arrived. Louis’ stomach twisted into a tight knot and he felt like he was going to throw up. Daniel looked dashing in his suit. He looked like a Prince. They all walked over to Louis and his heart began to beat really fast. Had Harry told him what had happened between them at the stag night? Daniel smiled at him happily.

‘Louis, thank you for taking care of everything. I’m a nervous wreck,’ he said. His mother caressed his cheek.

‘My boy is getting married. Don’t be nervous baby. You’re marrying the man of your dreams. Oh I can’t wait to see you both married and have grandbabies.’ She dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.

‘Mum don’t start crying. Please. And we already talked about babies. Harry is going to be busy for a while touring. He’s got commitments to see to so babies might take a while to start happening,’ he said, chuckling as he kissed his mother fondly. She flapped a hand at him.

‘I know. I know. I’m just excited for lots of little ones to spoil.’ Louis cleared his throat not wanting to hear about Harry having babies with Daniel.

‘You’d better take your position up front Daniel. Harry should um be here any minute now.’ Daniel nodded as he walked with his parents and siblings to the front. Gemma and Des were next to arrive. Des shook Louis’ hand and went to sit up front. Gemma hugged him. 

‘He told me,’ she whispered in his ear. Louis hugged her tighter. ‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I really am.’ She patted his back and pulled back. ‘Are you alright?’ Louis gave her a small smile.

‘I’ll be fine Gem. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. As long as he’s happy, then it’s all good. I’ll manage.’ She squeezed his arm.

‘I hope you’ll find your happy ever after too.’ He nodded at her unable to speak from the lump wedged in his throat. The music started indicating that the groom had arrived. Louis walked up to the front and stood at the arch on Harry’s side. And then there he was, walking down the aisle with Anne and Louis nearly did die from a shattered heart. He was so beautiful in an ivory Gucci suit, his short curly hair styled back away from his face in a messy pile of curls. He looked radiant as did Anne. Harry kept his eyes forward on Daniel. He never once looked at Louis. Not for a fraction of a second did his eyes waver over to Louis. When they arrived at the front, Anne hugged Daniel and gave over her son to him to be married, placing Harry’s hand in Daniel’s hand, giving it a squeeze before letting her son go.

Louis wanted to cry as he saw Harry smile at Daniel and Daniel raise Harry’s hand to his lips and place a kiss on the back of it and giving him a wink before they turned to face the registrar that was going to perform their marriage. Louis wanted to scream as he looked at Harry’s profile, the serenity on his face, the tranquility emanating from him but he swallowed it all down, pasted a smile on his face and saved everything for later when he was alone in his bed in his hotel room where he could break down.

The registrar began talking and Louis chose to focus on the sound of the ocean, the waves crashing on the sand, letting his mind wander away from this painful moment in his life besides that of losing his mother and sister. His life was all about loss. He wished his mother was here just so she could hold him while he broke down in the safety of her arms. His thoughts were broken when he heard the registrar ask for the rings and a little boy from Daniel’s side of the family came up with a small cushion on which the wedding rings were nestled, sparkling in the last rays of the days’ sun. Daniel took the wedding ring that was to tie Harry to him forever off the cushion and took Harry’s left hand.

‘Do you Daniel Sharman take Harry Styles to be your husband from this day forth until you both shall live?’ Daniel smiled.

‘I do,’ he said. ‘I so do.’ A few giggles from the people witnessing their bond. And Louis felt himself drown in sorrow as Daniel slipped the ring on Harry’s finger. It fit him perfectly.

‘Harry, with this ring I thee wed and promise to be there with you throughout this wonderful journey we are about to embark on through all the good times, the bad times, the laughter, the pain, the tears, the joys and frustrations that life may throw our way until the end of our days.’ The ring was nestled on Harry’s left fourth finger. Louis let out a puff of breath because now was Harry’s turn to seal the deal and it would be done. Then he could have a few drinks and leave.

‘Do you Harry Styles take Daniel Sharman to be your husband from this day forth until you both shall live?’ the registrar asked. Harry didn’t answer right away. He was looking at Daniel, his back to Louis. Louis’ heart seemed to stop yet beat faster at the same time. Louis could see Daniel’s face and he was looking at Harry, the smile on his face uncertain. The registrar cleared his voice and asked again. Harry did not answer again. He just kept looking at Daniel. Louis looked at the crowd of friends and families sitting looking at the couple, their faces a mixture of expectancy and concern. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, all eyes fixed on the couple except for Lottie, Eleanor, Gemma, Liam and Niall. THEY were LOOKING at HIM! Why were they looking at him? He didn’t do anything! He had been on his best behavior. He shrugged his shoulder at them.

‘Harry,’ Daniel said softly. Harry let go of Daniel’s hand and took a step back from him.

‘I’m sorry. I c-can’t. I’m so sorry,’ he cried out as he turned and ran up the aisle, actually ran away from the wedding ceremony. Louis’ heart was beating frantically as he heard everyone gasp and saw Harry running away. What did this mean? Daniel looked at Harry shocked and frozen but shook himself out of it, apologized to the registrar telling him to give them a minute and he was off running after Harry. Louis wanted to bolt and go after Harry too because the thoughts running through his head were crazy but the hope in his heart that maybe just maybe Harry had not said I do had something to do with him was making him giddy inside. But he stayed there rooted to the spot waiting for Daniel to bring him back because then again, Harry might just had a panic attack due to the immense emotions of the moment. Louis told himself that Daniel would calm him down and soon the ceremony would resume. Still, he did not look at his friends or sister again. He didn’t want to see the blame or hope in their eyes.

Daniel rushed inside the hotel, a sense of panic and dread over taking him. His shirt stuck to his back beneath his suit jacket as sweat seemed to seep out of his every pore as fear and apprehension over took his senses. Why had Harry hesitated then ran? Was it nerves? Was it cold feet? Daniel’s heart and mind were at odds with each other. He took the elevator to their wedding suite because he knew that was where Harry would go to. When the elevator opened on their floor, he pulled out his key card and opened the door. He walked inside and saw Harry sitting on the couch, his head hanging low, both his hands covering his face and he was crying, his shoulders shaking with his soft sobs. Daniel sat down beside him.

‘Hey sweetheart,’ he said softly and Harry sobbed harder. Daniel put his hand on Harry’s lower back and he could feel him shaking. ‘What’s wrong? What happened out there?’ Harry shook his head. Daniel reached out and ever so gently pried his hands away from his face. Harry didn’t look at him but kept his head down crying.

‘I…I’m s-s-orry,’ he said through his sobs. Daniel swallowed the knot of fear in his throat.

‘For what baby?’ he asked gently, rubbing Harry’s back to comfort him and that gesture seemed to make Harry cry harder. He shook his head again but he didn’t say anything. Daniel sighed heavily. ‘Harry please talk to me. I am part of this wedding too and I need to know what’s going on.’ Harry raised his head and with red teary eyes he looked at Daniel, reached out and took his hand.

‘I…I c-can’t m-marry you,’ he stammered out. The shock to Daniel’s heart felt as if an electric bolt had struck him.

‘We’ll postpone. It’s fine love,’ Daniel said tentatively hoping upon hope that Harry was just nervous and needed a little bit more time. Harry squeezed his hand.

‘You’ve been amazing to me and I love you. I really really love you Dan. You are such a wonderful guy but I don’t need more time. I can’t marry you,’ Harry said softly through his sobs. He could feel his heart breaking inside his chest doing this to Daniel on their wedding day. 

‘You’re breaking up with me on our wedding day?’ Daniel asked him equally soft no hint of anger in his voice, just pain and disappointment, his eyes shining with unshed tears. All the while Harry had known him, he had never seen Daniel angry or ever raised his voice to Harry. Ever. 

‘I’m sorry Dan. I should’ve…I should’ve,’ he said but broke out into fresh sobs. Daniel licked his lips and swallowed thickly trying hard not to cry but the tears still slipped involuntarily out of his eyes onto his cheeks. Daniel nodded to himself. Yes, he should’ve spoken up too, sooner but he had hoped in his heart that he had been wrong all along. Clearly, he hadn’t been wrong. 

‘It’s him isn’t it?’ Daniel asked quietly, his voice resigned. Harry’s head snapped up and he looked at him with wide watery eyes.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘He was your first love wasn’t he? The one you fell in love with at sixteen?’ Harry opened his mouth, closed it, sniffed and opened it again.

‘How?’ he asked barely above a whisper. Daniel chuckled humorlessly.

‘Well for starters you don’t tattoo yourself with matching complimentary tattoos as your best friend.’ Harry was about to talk but Daniel held up his hand. ‘Please give me a moment to talk,’ Daniel said and Harry closed his mouth. It was the least he could do. ‘I saw them Harry. After I noticed the first one I paid attention. I saw the others and I knew. I knew from the way he looked at you. I knew from the way you moved around him. I knew from the way you looked at each other. And I knew from the way you refused to talk about your big first love with me. I refused to believe it. I kept on hoping and telling myself that you loved me more than him, that you loved me enough to marry me so this is maybe more my fault than it is yours.’

‘No!’ Harry was quick to say. ‘No it isn’t your fault Dan don’t do that,’ Harry begged him. ‘I love you I really do.’ Daniel gave him a small sad smile.

‘I know you do baby but he’s your One not me. He loves you. It’s all so plain now. And you love him. He’s the one you want to go through time with Harry not me.’ Harry sniffed back the tears.

‘But I love you too Dan,’ he whimpered. Daniel leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead trying hard not to break down in front of him.

‘I love you too sweetheart but soulmates can’t be kept apart by anything or anyone. He’s yours baby and you’re his. I hope you’ll be happy Harry.’ Daniel stood up. ‘I’ll go tell everyone the wedding is off. Goodbye Harry and good luck. I hope he will make you very happy because you deserve it.’ With those words, Daniel walked out of the suite leaving Harry a sobbing mess. He walked down the corridor and into the elevator. He composed himself the best he could to go and face the waiting guests, their families and friends. The elevator dinged open and he walked out to the garden and down to the beach straight to the front where the registrar, Louis and his own best man were waiting. He turned to face the small crowd.

‘I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the wedding has been called off. Thank you for coming. Harry and I really appreciate it and we will be returning all your kind gifts. Please feel free to go eat and drink something. It would be such a waste to waste all that food. Again, our sincere apologies. Thank you.’ Daniel shook hands with the registrar and then turned to Louis. Louis held his breath, ready for harsh words, curses or insults from Daniel but Daniel just held out his hand to Louis and Louis took it, knowing his own hand was shaking and sweaty.

‘Take care of him. Love him as he deserves to be loved,’ Daniel said as he shook his hand, no hint of anger or malice in his voice. Then he let go and was walking away with his best man to his family who crowded around him asking him what had happened and why had the wedding been called off and Louis had to admire him for the strength he was showing and for not giving away the fact what had been the cause to call off their wedding. That HE himself was why Harry had called off the wedding. 

Daniel left with his friends and family, guests getting up and leaving the venue until all that were left seating in the now empty rows were a crying Anne who was being comforted by Des and Gemma, Lottie, his twin sisters, Eleanor, Liam and Niall all of them looking baffled. Louis was still standing under the arch, his body unable to move. He wanted to run to Harry but he didn’t know if Harry wanted to see him. Then Eleanor and Lottie were beside him tugging him until he moved and sat down. Nobody spoke until Anne stood up.

‘I need to go and see my baby,’ she sobbed. ‘Why was the wedding called off? Why? My baby must be heartbroken.’ Gemma looked at him and gave him a hard glare. What did that mean? Did she want HIM to go talk to Harry? Gemma tore her eyes away from Louis and rubbed her mother’s back comfortingly.

‘Mum I’ll go and talk to him yeah. You know how he is. It’s not that he won’t tell you but…’ Gemma stopped and looked at Louis again and he couldn’t for the life of him understand what she wanted from him. Anne nodded.

‘Yes love. He’ll probably talk to you more than he will talk to me. Go see you your brother. Des, I need a stiff drink.’ Des nodded and walked Anne to the bar by the pool where some guests were looking all bewildered and talking amongst themselves in hushed tones while having a drink and wondering why the wedding had been called off. When they were gone, Gemma turned on Louis. 

‘She doesn’t know he broke off the fucking wedding because of you,’ she hissed at him angrily.

‘Gem I…’ Louis began but she raised a finger at him stopping him.

‘Don’t Louis. Just don’t. This was supposed to be the happiest day of his life but you couldn’t leave well enough alone could you? You had to kiss him and tell him you still loved him. Now you’ve dragged him back to square one. Back to when you made a mess of him and we had to be there to pick up the pieces.’

‘Gemma that’s not fair,’ Eleanor said, defending Louis from her harsh accusations. Gemma turned to face her eyes blazing.

‘Don’t talk to me about fair Eleanor. You should know better what’s fair and what’s not.’ Eleanor opened her mouth to speak but Liam jumped in.

‘Gem you know Louis and Harry had no choice in the matter. Louis never wanted a beard but he had to have one,’ he said calmly. ‘They had to have her you know that.’ Gemma raised her eyebrow at Liam.

‘Did he have a choice when he was with Danielle? Did he have a choice when he got Briana pregnant? He always had a choice Liam and it was never my brother.’ Lottie couldn’t hold her tongue any further. After all Louis was her brother and he was hurting too.

‘Gemma Louis loves Harry. Come on we all know how it was back then and even though Freddie is my nephew it was just a drunken mistake. Things got out of hand back then. It was just crazy. Too many emotions running wild. Louis was a mess. He was drinking to get away from everything. It was an accident. Nobody is to blame here. Not my brother, not yours and not Eleanor.’ Niall came forward and placed a hand on Gemma’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

‘Go see to Harry Gem. He needs you right now. We’re going to hang around for a few days in case he needs us too. Tell him we’ll be here for him. All of us.’ Gemma nodded then looked at Louis.

‘The time will come when you have to make things right with him and I hope to God you will do right by him because I’m so done seeing him suffering.’ She turned to go but Louis grabbed her wrist gently stopping her.

‘I’ll go and talk to him. I feel I should do this. He called off his wedding because of me so please let me go make it right.’ Gemma seemed to hesitate. 

‘I don’t think you’re the person who he needs right now,’ she said.

‘You don’t know that Gem,’ Louis told her his voice pleading. ‘At least let me come with you. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll go and you stay with him but there’s a slim chance he might want me even if just to yell at me and take out his pain and anger on me. Let me Gem? Please?’ Gemma sighed and nodded.

‘Alright but the moment he makes any indication that he doesn’t want you there, you leave right away. He doesn’t need anymore distress than he already has.’ Louis nodded and followed Gemma inside, his heart in his throat because he didn’t know what to expect from Harry. They rode the elevator up to the wedding suite in silence. When they arrived, Gemma took out her key card and opened the door. They walked inside and saw Harry sitting curled up on the couch.

‘Harry,’ Gemma called softly. He looked up, his features pained, eyes red and full of tears but the moment he saw Louis beside her, he shot up off the sofa and looked at him, anger on his face, his body trembling.

‘What the fuck is he doing here?’ he said angrily. Louis pushed past Gemma and stood in front of him as if shielding her from her brother and ready to take on Harry’s rage himself.

‘Harry,’ he began but stopped when he saw Harry clench his teeth together and his fingers curl into fists by his side.

‘I don’t want you here,’ Harry spat at him. ‘This is all your fucking fault. You do nothing but ruin my life. That’s all you ever do. You ruin my fucking life over and over. When are you going to fucking stop? When?’ he yelled, the tears spilling from his eyes rolling onto his flushed cheeks. Louis felt his own tears building in his eyes.

‘I’m trying to fix this Harry. I’m trying to do right by you,’ Louis pleaded holding out his hands to Harry in supplication. Harry scoffed and swiped at his nose with the back of his hand.

‘Now you want to do right by me? When I found love and was about to marry the most amazing man who actually loved me and took care of my heart? You had ages to do right by me yet you chose the moment of my wedding day to fucking make it right,’ Harry sobbed and Louis really wanted to wrap him in his arms and comfort his hurting heart.

‘In my defense…’ Louis began but Harry cut him off.

‘You don’t fucking have any!! What the fuck is wrong with you?’ he hiccupped. Louis really hated to see him crying. He always hated when Harry cried. Unfortunately, as much as he hated it, he always seemed to make him cry.

‘Harry please. If you give me a chance,’ Louis said begged.

‘No!’ Harry barked. Gemma jumped at her brother’s deep loud voice. ‘Are you fucking kidding me? Give you a chance? No! Leave me alone Louis. I allowed you to break my heart again and my heart is breaking for Daniel too. He did not deserve this. He did not deserve to be hurt and humiliated like this all because you discovered you still have feelings for me. He’s a good man and he would’ve made an amazing husband,’ Harry cried wiping furiously at his eyes. ‘He loved me and you ruined it for us. Go and don’t let me see you ever again. Leave me alone.’ Louis could feel his anger building up inside him too. 

‘If you love him so much and since he’s the fucking love of your life, then why the fuck didn’t you marry him? Why did you run away from your own wedding and your amazing perfect man?’ Harry clenched his jaw tight.

‘Get the fuck out Louis. Don’t ever let me fucking see you again. Let me live.’ Louis was about to protest but Gemma stepped between him and Harry. Louis craned his neck to look past her to Harry who stood there shaking from the force of his crying.

‘Harry please,’ Louis begged now on the verge of tears because Harry couldn’t mean all this could he? Gemma looked at Louis.

‘Leave,’ she told him and when she saw him about to protest, she said again more firmly, ‘Louis leave.’ And Louis hung his head in defeat because Harry didn’t want him and he had no further choice in the matter.

‘I’m sorry,’ he told Harry in a defeated voice, his head hanging low. He opened the door and walked out never looking back. If he had, he would’ve seen Harry cry harder.

X

Two weeks later and everyone had returned back to their daily lives leaving behind the disastrous failed wedding. Except Louis. Louis had not returned to his normal daily life not after all that had happened back in L.A. Not after having fucked up Harry’s life again and broken his heart yet again and breaking his own in the process. Not forgetting Daniel. Harry’s heart was breaking for Daniel too. Louis had tried contacting Harry several times but Harry never picked up his phone or answered his texts. Louis had become anxious even though Gemma had kept telling him to give it time, to give Harry time to heal his broken heart. Gemma had called Louis a few days after the failed wedding telling him to give Harry space and to stop calling him. Gemma didn’t sound angry anymore and had told him that she understood their situation but her brother was hurting and that he should wait until Harry was ready to talk to him again. So Louis waited. Until he couldn’t wait anymore. Patience wasn’t one of his virtues. 

In the beginning of the fourth week since the wedding, he got on a plane and went to L.A. He was not going to make the same mistakes again and let Harry go again. This time, he was going to fight for him. He had given this enough time and he was going to talk to Harry and make it up to him and even if Harry didn’t want him anymore at least he had to try and repair their friendship.

However, on his arrival in L.A, Louis found Harry’s house empty and after having sat for a few hours waiting for him to come back home, Harry still did not return and Louis had gone back to his hotel room and decided to call the person who would know (and arrange Harry’s every move) Jeff. He tapped on his number and waited patiently as it rang and rang until finally Jeff picked up.

‘Hello,’ he said into the phone sounding bored.

‘Jeff,’ Louis said. 

‘Louis hi,’ Jeff said suddenly sounding more alert. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m alright,’ Louis said. ‘The reason I’m calling is that I’m in L.A. I came over to see Harry. I went over to the house and he’s not there. I waited for him but he never came home. Where is he?’ There was a silent pause on the line and Louis could feel his skin prickling with anticipation.

‘Does he know you’re here?’ Jeff asked cautiously.

‘No,’ Louis replied. ‘I mean I tried calling him and texting him to let him know I was coming….’

‘And he didn’t take your calls or reply to your texts?’ Jeff asked.

‘No he didn’t,’ Louis admitted feeling his nerves being to fray. He heard Jeff sigh heavily and he knew that it wasn’t good.

‘Louis, I know you mean well but you should leave Harry alone.’

‘Jeff I need to see him,’ Louis pleaded into the phone. Jeff sighed again.

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea Louis. I mean since he didn’t answer your calls or reply to your texts, that should tell you something no? He’ll get back to you when he’s ready.’ Louis huffed because Jeff was the only one who could provide him with information as to Harry’s whereabouts.

‘I just need to talk to him,’ Louis pressed.

‘Harry is not doing too good Louis. He’s trying to heal and get himself together again. With the new album coming out soon he will be very busy promoting and touring…’

‘I can help him heal Jeff,’ Louis said desperately. Another silent pause.

‘Louis,’ Jeff said calmly trying to make Louis understand, ‘Harry really loved Daniel. What he did to him, all that happened weighs down on him a lot. He tried to reach out to Daniel after his stuff that he had over at Daniel’s house had been dropped off to his house but Daniel has cut all ties with him and that’s making Harry feel really guilty.’

‘So he’s doing the same to me. He’s cutting me off too. Don’t you think I feel guilty too about what happened?’ Louis asked.

‘I don’t know much about you Louis. Harry never….’

‘Yeah I know he never talked about me but I love him Jeff. I have loved him for a long time and I need to see him to make things right. Please,’ Louis begged. 

‘Well I’m sorry you came all this way out here to see him because he’s not in L.A,’ Jeff said. 

‘Where is he then?’ Louis asked now feeling irritated that he had flew all the way out here for nothing.

‘I don’t think Harry wants you to know where he is,’ Jeff said.

‘Did he tell you that or are you the one keeping me away from him?’ Louis asked, his temper getting the best of him. 

‘I’m doing what’s best for him,’ Jeff replied. Louis closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to muster up the last shreds of patience he had.

‘Jeff please. I need to see him. I need to make it right with him.’ There was silence on the line and Louis prepared himself to beg till he was blue in the face. He heard Jeff sigh and his dramatic sighs were getting the best of Louis. Finally Jeff spoke.

‘He’s gone on a retreat to find himself he said. He told me that in order to be ready in time for the release of the album, he needed time to himself to heal so he went up to Scotland. He’s been there for nearly two weeks. He rented out this place in the middle of nowhere up in the Isle of Skye in Scotland. There’s this little colorful town by the lake called Portree. He’s gone there.’ Louis was a little stunned to hear that but he didn’t put it past Harry to disappear in places like that.

‘Isle of Skye?’ Louis repeated to make sure that he heard right.

‘Yep right up in the Scottish Highlands,’ Jeff said.

‘Fuck,’ Louis whispered because it was going to be one hell of a trip to get to Harry.

‘Fuck indeed. Goes to show you how much he needs to be away from everyone to fix himself which is why you should leave him alone until he’s ready to come back. You should wait until he comes back to talk to him because I have a feeling you are going to fuck up his self healing,’ Jeff said without preamble. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled. Of course Jeff would think Louis was going to fuck Harry up again. He wanted Harry in top shape for the release of his new album and tour. After all, Harry was his most highly paid artist. Harry brought in the money.

‘I’m not going to fuck up again Jeff. I owe him a lot so I’m gonna go book a flight to Glasgow and go to Harry.’

‘In that case, bring him back fixed Louis. He’s my best friend and he deserves to be happy. Don’t fuck it up Louis because he has a tour coming up and for fucks sake tell him to think up a name for the tour. We need to start promoting it.’ Louis rolled his eyes and held his tongue from saying yes Mama Roo. 

‘I will,’ he said instead and hung up. Then he got busy researching the best route that would get him to Isle of Fucking Skye to Harry.

X

Louis was tired. Beyond tired. Beyond exhausted. He had taken a thirteen and a half hour flight from L.A to Glasgow. He still had a five hour train ride to Mallaig then a forty five minute ferry to Isle of Skye! Couldn’t Harry have found an isolated place closer to home to find himself? No, because Harry had to lose himself in order to find himself and Louis understood that perfectly well. It was a very Harry thing to do. Louis decided to get a room in a hotel in Glasgow, have a much needed rest then in the morning get the train to Mallaig and the ferry to Isle of Skye then on to Portree and to Harry.

The next morning, Louis was up at the crack of dawn feeling well rested albeit still a little sleepy but he was excited. Today he would finally see Harry and hash this out between them. Either way it went, this needed and had to be done. He caught the first train to Mallaig. He had breakfast on the train and managed to get some more sleep. When he finally made it to Mallaig, he felt better. Nervous because he was closer to Harry. What if Harry didn’t want to see him and sent him away again? Louis couldn’t think about this right now. He had to be positive and hope that Harry had calmed down enough to talk to him. He boarded the ferry and for the next forty five minutes, Louis thought about what he wanted to say to Harry and thought of so many what if’s that his brain hurt. Finally, the ferry docked at the dock at Isle of Skye. The little village was beautiful. So serene and tranquil, life much slower here and Louis immediately realized why Harry had chosen this little place up in the Highlands of Scotland. Harry was after seclusion, peace, tranquility and to lose himself among people who didn’t know him. He asked directions to the cottage Harry had rented and it was another thirty minutes drive so Louis rented a car and after putting in the address in the GPS, he set off, hoping that this trip would be worth all the fucking travelling he had done.

The moment he drove out of the village, then it was countryside. Vast, expanse of highland, endless grey sky and fresh air. It was beautiful. Louis cracked open his window even though it was cold and drizzling because he had to take in some of this fresh air that the city did not offer. He drove on until he could see the sea, grey and a little rough from the wind and knew that he was close to the cottage that Harry had rented. Then the butterflies started up in his stomach again with the same questions he had been mulling over in his mind : What if Harry didn’t want to see him? What if he sent him away? What if it was over for good? The automated voice of the GPS informed him that he had arrived at his destination and just as Louis rounded the bend, the white cottage came in sight, standing all by itself on a little hill facing the sea, surrounded by nothing but highland. Louis parked the car behind the cottage which was kinda big for a cottage and got out, taking in his surroundings, wondering how Harry had found this place or how did he even know of it. The cottage was white washed, two storey with dark wooden shutters, endless lawn, garden furniture and a breath taking view of the sea, the sound of the waves crashing down on the beach. Louis walked to the front of the cottage that faced the beach and saw Harry sitting in a deck chair looking out at the waves. It was too cold to be sitting out on a bloody deckchair but that was Harry for ya. Had he not heard him arrive? But upon walking closer Louis realized that Harry was wearing headphones. It was no use calling out to him so ever so gently he placed a hand on his shoulder making Harry jump nonetheless. He was out of his deckchair like a thunderbolt, tearing the headphones off his head staring at Louis with wide startled eyes.

‘What the fuck?’ he spat out, his hand on his racing heart. ‘What the fuck Louis you scared the shit out of me.’ Louis held up both his hands trying hard not to laugh at Harry’s startled face. Wouldn’t bode well for him to set off on the wrong foot here.

‘I’m sorry really,’ he said animatedly. ‘I am so sorry H.’ He bit his lip trying so hard not to laugh at Harry’s comical expression. Harry glared at him as the wind whipped around them.

‘What the fuck are you doing here and don’t even try to laugh at me Louis,’ Harry said, his fright replaced by anger. Louis put his hands down.

‘I came to talk to you,’ he said calmly. Harry threw the headphones on to the deck chair.

‘You should’ve called before wasting your time coming all the way out here because I believe I told you that I didn’t want to see you again,’ he said dryly. 

‘Well you should’ve picked up the bloody phone when I called you,’ Louis replied, his tone was soft and trying to ignore the way Harry said that he didn’t want to see him again. Harry ran a hand through his curls.

‘Reception sucks out here.’

‘That’s why I came,’ Louis told him. Harry huffed.

‘There’s nothing to talk about. I came here to be alone. Who even told I was here? How did you find me?’ Louis sighed.

‘Haz, can we like maybe go inside? My balls are freezing off out here and I could do with a cuppa. I mean seriously? You came all the way out here? By the sea in Scotland?’ Harry scowled at him.

‘You’re not funny you know,’ he said but his tone had lost some of it’s shock and anger as he made his way past Louis and into the cottage. Louis rubbed his hands together and followed him inside thankful that at least Harry was allowing him inside and giving him a hot drink. The cottage was warm was the first thing Louis noticed as he stepped inside the living room with the worn sofa and armchairs, patchwork blankets, rugs and a roaring fireplace with windows looking out on to the beach. He took off his jacket, put it on the back on an armchair and followed Harry. He came out into a small kitchen and saw Harry putting the kettle on, in an old fashioned iron kettle on an old fashioned stove. Louis felt as if he had been transported back in time.

‘Cosy,’ Louis commented. ‘How did you find this place?’ Harry shrugged.

‘There’s a thing called the internet where you can find places like this,’ he muttered and Louis smiled at himself because he loved it when Harry was like this all pouty and muttering trying to hold on to his anger but failing.

‘It’s nice,’ Louis said again. He pulled out a chair from under the table and sat down. Harry kept his back to him as he waited for the kettle to boil. It was silent in the small kitchen but not the awkward or uncomfortable kind. Louis went through his mental list of all that he wanted to say to Harry again. He had been thinking about what to say to him for a while now, replaying it in his head for the day that they met again. The kettle boiled and Harry made the tea. He placed two steaming mugs on the table.

‘Are you hungry?’ he asked Louis. Louis nodded. Harry turned back to the cupboard, pulled out a loaf of bread and made some sandwiches.

‘How do you go get groceries?’ Louis asked him curiously. ‘I mean it’s a bit of a drive from the village and I didn’t see a car here.’ Harry dropped a plate with two ham and cheese sandwiches in front of Louis without ceremony, the plate clattering noisily on the table and sat down opposite Louis.

‘Very perceptive of you,’ he commented, blowing on his tea as if it was going to cool down instantly. Louis always found that highly irritating because Harry always did that and for why? ‘I have a guy who delivers my groceries every couple of days. Happy? Your curiosity sated?’ Louis smirked round his sandwich.

‘Very. Thank you for the sarnies,’ he said round a mouthful knowing it irritated Harry when he spoke with his mouthful. Harry sipped at his tea and Louis nearly laughed out loud when Harry burned his tongue.

‘Why do you always have to sip your tea just right after you pour it to always burn your tongue? Don’t you ever learn?’ Harry glared at him, his eyes a vibrant green.

‘It’s none of your business what I do Louis,’ he said and Louis knew he was dying to rub his tongue but was refraining from doing it just so he wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of watching his pain. Louis took a bite of his sandwich and chewed loudly on purpose to annoy Harry. Harry sighed loudly to show his annoyance.

‘Louis why did you come here? Besides to disrupt my peace?’ he asked. Louis put his sandwich down and wiped his hands on his jeans suddenly feeling nervous.

‘I came to talk about us H, about this whole situation,’ Louis said softly. Harry shook his head.

‘As soon as you finish your tea and sandwiches, I suggest you get back in your car and go back to where you came from,’ he said not looking at Louis.

‘No, I won’t go back,’ Louis replied. Harry raised his head and looked at Louis.

‘I don’t want to talk,’ he said. Louis gave him a small smile.

‘That’s all right. I’ll talk you just listen alright?’ Harry pushed his chair back and stood up, towering over Louis.

‘I don’t want to do this,’ he said angrily. ‘I’m not ready to do this. I don’t want to talk about anything with you. Just go and leave me alone.’ Louis sighed and got up facing Harry who was breathing heavily like a bull and Louis knew that he was getting emotional.

‘Hey Haz, it’s me yeah. Still your best friend despite everything that’s happened. I know I fucked up….’

‘You fucked up,’ Harry snorted sarcastically. ‘That’s the understatement of the fucking century.’ And Louis smiled a little because the fight was going out of Harry. It had always been like that, he’d yell and curse and get all riled up then a sweet word from Louis and he’d deflate like a balloon. Louis looked up into his face.

‘I know and I’m sorry. I just couldn’t let you get married without telling you,’ he said honestly.

‘And after all these years that we’ve known each other, after everything we’ve been through, you waited until my wedding day to tell me how you felt?’ Harry asked him and even though his voice was raised, it wasn’t in anger but from all the emotions inside him. Louis looked at him tenderly.

‘It took me nearly losing you to realize that I couldn’t go through life without you. I just thought,’ he paused and took in a deep breath exhaling softly, ‘I just kinda thought you wouldn’t find someone else. Like we were soul mates you know? I know it’s stupid but I kinda always believed we were meant to be, like we were it for each other so when you told me the news, I…I panicked. I couldn’t let you go without you knowing how I felt for you. I know the timing was shit and I’m so sorry for ruining your wedding but to be honest, I’m not as sorry as I should feel because I love you. I always have and I always will.’ He saw Harry’s eyes soften and look at him fondly. He saw his shoulders sag a little.

‘I didn’t know you felt that way,’ he admitted softly. ‘After all that happened, after you left me and after you had Freddie, I figured you were done with me. It took a lot for me to move on from all that but deep down in my heart for a long time I kinda hoped you still felt something for me besides friendship.’

‘Really?’ Louis asked him. 

‘I waited for you,’ Harry said softly. His eyes on Louis were soft. His whole being was soft. ‘Days. Weeks. Months. Endless nights. I waited for you. I dreamed you would come and tell me that you still felt something for me besides friendship. But you didn’t. You went on with your life as if I never happened to you. You never did come back for me Louis. Then I met Daniel and he….’

‘He made you forget me?’ Harry shook his head once.

‘No. He didn’t. You were always there in my mind and the hope in my heart never left. But Daniel wooed me. He was lovely to me and yeah I fell for him. Maybe it was out of loneliness or my need to be loved and to love someone. I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to fill the emptiness inside my heart and to finally be with someone who wanted the love I had inside me. I don’t know but Daniel, he…’ he paused and Louis watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He knew it still pained Harry. ‘Daniel didn’t deserve that. He loved me. He treated me good and made me happy but when you told me how you felt, I knew that I had been settling for second best. I knew that even though I loved Daniel, it wasn’t the same love that I felt for you. That’s why I ran away. That’s why I couldn’t marry him because when you told me how you felt, I knew that Daniel wasn’t the one. He just wasn’t the one. You were. You are. Always have been and always will be.’ Louis reached out and tentatively took his hand. It was soft and warm and Harry did not pull away so Louis intertwined their fingers and gently pulled him closer until they were close to each other.

‘I never stopped loving you,’ Louis murmured.

‘I haven’t either,’ Harry murmured back. They looked at each other taking in every detail of each other’s faces as if they were seeing each other for the first time, rediscovering each other. Louis reached up with his free hand and stroked Harry’s cheek.

‘I want it all with you Haz. All of it.’

‘You do?’ Harry asked him. Louis rested his forehead against Harry’s.

‘Yeah. I don’t ever want to be without you. I think we wasted enough time. I um…I…’

‘You what?’ Harry whispered.

‘I want to come on tour with you as…as your husband.’ Harry pulled back and looked at Louis with wide eyes.

‘Are you proposing?’ he asked a little bewildered. Louis smirked at him.

‘Guess I am. Will you? I mean marry me before you go on tour?’ Harry stood there shocked for a moment. Louis was proposing and he had a decision to make. He gulped.

‘Yeah, Yes. Louis yes of course but I don’t have much time to plan a wedding. The tour starts in…oh shit I don’t have time to plan a wedding.’ Louis cupped his face in his hands grounding him before Harry flew into a panic.

‘Hey hey listen. We don’t need a big wedding. It’s just you and me yeah. I want to marry you now.’

‘Now?’ Harry blinked not understanding what Louis meant.

‘Yes. I want us to get the fuck out of this place, fly back to London, call our families and have a quiet little ceremony. Just us. It’s the only way to be married in time to fly out to L.A and finalize your preparations to go on tour.’

‘But w-what about your album? You told me you were….’

‘Shh shh Haz listen. My album can wait. Us can’t. I don’t want us to wait anymore. We’ve waited enough don’t you think? I can continue to write while on tour with you. I can work. What do you say?’ Harry gave him his dimpled smile.

‘Yes,’ he murmured softly. ‘Yes.’ Louis leaned forward and kissed him gently, softly, Harry’s lips moving against his making him weak inside because he had missed him so much and Harry had agreed to marry him.

‘Let’s do this H.’ Harry smiled against his lips.

‘Before we do this, I have just one thing to do.’ He pulled away from Louis and grabbed his phone off the table checking for reception. The reception gods where in his favor. Two bars. Louis watched him dial and listen.

‘Jeff hi,’ Harry said into the phone. ‘Yeah I’m alright. Listen, I finally found a name for the tour. Thought you might want to know it to start with promo.’ Harry chuckled and looked at Louis, his cheeks rosy. ‘Yeah you can say I had some inspiration. I want to call it Love On Tour. I’ll be flying to L.A in about a week with…with um…’ He paused again and bit his lip shyly. Louis gave him a wink. ‘With my husband,’ Harry said then paused again and giggled. ‘Yes he did and I said yes. So we’ll be there in about a week to finalize everything. I have a wedding to attend to and this time I’m not running away. See you soon Jeffrey.’ He hung up and put his phone down then looked at Louis again.

‘Can we stay the night and leave in the morning? I believe we have some serious catching up to do,’ Harry told suggestively as he tugged at Louis’s hoodie, pulling him closer and walking backwards towards the stairs to where Louis presumed were the bedrooms. Louis grinned at him.

‘I believe we do,’ he said giving Harry a suggestive wink and let Harry lead him upstairs and into their future.

The End.


End file.
